Millie:23 months, Gender Reveal, 15 (almost 16) weeks

Millie!!! You will be TWO years old next month.  what in the world is that about?!  Sister!!!!!  

I don't even know where to begin with all the ways you have changed!  You are such an intelligent little girl.  I really don't think there are words you do not know!  You repeat and catch on to everything!  You talk in sentences and remember things then tell stories about them... like last week we went to your dad's work and you went to sit in Gampie's new truck.  Then, we were eating dinner the other night and you said "I went to Gampie's work and see his new truck.  we ride in his truck".  

You know all your colors, a few letters, and can count to 20 most days.  I LOVE IT.. eat it up every single time.  You have an alphabet puzzle and the M is "map"--you say it every time.. K is "key".. Z is "zipper"

Your hair is out of control!  So cute.  

I took you with me to see Mrs. Dawn to find out the gender of our new baby!  You SCREAMED the entire time "noon baby mommy. NO BABY!"  GERRRR HAHA

Now you say-baby brother?! often

You had a double ear infection this week :( saddest.

You love to "chalk", "cook" in your kitchen, play chase around the house, your new slide that your daddy brought home this week, ring around the roses, chocolate milk time, Daniel Tiger, BUBBLE BATH, when i put dresses on you (you say---pretty dressssssss and spin in circles), your boots, you like to have booboos kissed, to say "sorry mommy", "lub you", " i got you", playing with your babies, facetime, singing, dancing

You dislike: diaper changing time, getting your hair fixed, and have a love/hate relationship with brushing your teeth

We got you a toddler bed and put it in your room today.  You kept saying "MY PRESENT!!!!!" Then you walked over to the crib and pushed it and said "too bad bed" :)).  We didn't let you sleep in it tonight because the room isn't quite as Millie proofed as we want it, yet.

Christmas 2015 & 11 wks 5 days--baby Willard #2

Christmas!!!! Where did it come from???  It snuck up on us, for sure.  I am blaming it on the weather....mainly mid 60s the whole week of Christmas, and almost 70 on Christmas day! WWWWWHATTT????
It was my favorite Christmas yet--seeing Millie's face light up at every little thing... Christmas lights, spotting "kissmas tees" everywhere we went, prezzies, "HoHo"...all of it.  She loved it all!
Millie got a play kitchen and a new baby doll this year.  She also got an easel from her Tone-Tone & a baby grand piano from Gammie & Gampie.  She got lots of other goodies from them and from all her cousins!  Such a spoiled little lady, but she was in desperate need of new toys---riding herself around in her baby's stroller was getting pretty old.  ha
It was so special to have Tone-Tone here with us this year! We went to the candle light Christmas Eve service at church at 3:30, then had dinner at Jason's Deli, then came home to decorate cookies!

After opening gifts and having lunch at Gammie & Gampie's Millie jumped in the jump house they got all the grandkids for over an hour.  She was SO hilarious.  She would go in head first through the netting and roll in.  SHE LOVED IT! She played her little heart out.  She never even took a nap and was so happy all day!  We cooked Christmas dinner with Tone-Tone & then gave her a bubble bath.  She started burping and grabbing her throat in the tub but was still happy and playing.  Around 8:45 we heard her crying in her bed.  It was a strange cry, so I went in to check on her.  There was throw up all over her and her bed.  She was sitting in the corner of her crib sobbing.  It was the saddest thing I've ever seen!! Poor sweet girl.  We all got her cleaned up and then she went back to sleep.  Around 4 she woke up again.  We brought her in our bed, and then she threw up about 20 minutes later.  She threw up again around 5:30...again...all over our bed.  

She started seeming normal and playing like herself again around 2 pm, and didn't throw up again.  So thankful it was so quick, and that none of us have gotten it (yet)! Fingers crossed!

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A few days before Christmas we told the rest of the world that we are having another baby!!! So excited to share the news of this sweet baby!  We announced to our family and close friends via Christmas card the first week of December.  

Dear Baby Willard #2---(Basically, we already know your name :) you will have the same first name no matter your gender!)  We went to the doctor for our monthly check up on Christmas Eve morning.  After the appointment Dr. Gorman asked if we had a few extra minutes.  I thought something was wrong, but he said, "Want to see your baby?" UMMMMM of course!! We were so excited and so grateful!! You were SO active.  I was so amazed at how much you were moving for it to be so early!  You kept throwing your leg up :)!  You had the sweetest little profile.  ahh-I just wanted to squeeze you!!  Your HR was 170!  Best little sound ever!

How's momma?
-my pants are already starting to be snug & it is definitely more comfortable to unbutton them in the car.... of course that may be accredited to all the Mojitos mexican food and cupcakes I've been eating.  oops.
-around week 7 i had it pretty rough! Ben had to come home a few times from work because i was throwing up so much... they prescribed me phenergan so I took half of one before bed one night..I got up and had a headache so around 8:30 I took a tylenol and it KNOCKED. ME. OUT.  I felt like I had been drugged or something.  I could not function and slept without moving for 4 hours. SO STRANGE!
-for about two weeks I wondered how I was ever going to get out of bed again....after all of that settled I started to feel somewhat normal
-the past two weeks I haven't slept much at night.. the "girls" are already super large...ha
-oh and.. I literally had to get out of bed to use the bathroom SEVEN times last night.. so that is super fun haha!
-now i'm just mostly "tired".. so I take a nap at least 3 times a week when Millie does..
-craving any and all fruits and juices. all. the. time., FRIED CHICKEN (I usually HATE slims, but have wanted it constantly), and mexican...
-foods i CANNOT even think about: ham, bbq sometimes, it disgusts me to cook chicken (just like with millie), hamburger meat..ANYONE JUST MENTIONING THE WORD CHUY'S MAKES ME SICK!

This pregnancy is already so much different than when I was pregnant with Millie Willard.  I was sick ALL. OF. THE. TIME. with her..this one has been a bit less dramatic :)))  Most days I wake up and just say out loud, "wow-- thank you, Jesus, that I feel well today!!!!"


I am SO excited to meet this sweet baby already!!!!! In some ways the past (almost) 12 weeks have flown by, but when I think of how much longer pregnancy is it seems to creep.  We basically found out the first second we possibly could have that we were pregnant--Nov. 1 (it was right after church). I took a pregnancy test---and it took less than one minute to show positive.  Ben says he's never seen me jump so high ahaha..but we still needed more proof so he went to grab two more digital ones--PREGNANT! We are hoping to find out gender at the end of January!!!!! EEEEEEEEKKK!!!

You have a little family that already loves you so much sweet sweet baby!  Can't wait to know you!

A corrupt, beautiful, God-made world.

Lately I have found myself thinking a lot about how different the world around me seems.  It's almost created a sense of fear inside of me.  It feels like everywhere I turn there's another travesty happening.  People hurting, people's hearts broken, people so deeply desiring healing, people yearning for answers, people who don't know where to turn, people in need, people being ignored, people crying out for help.  Ah!

Who am I to act like I have the answers.  I don't.  I'm undereducated on so many topics being thrown around in society these days and even on topics of the past that seem to be resurfacing.  I usually feel like I just want to build a small underground village with room enough for all my people so we can escape all the crazy and hurt.  I want to help.  I want to be a voice of reason.  I want to help show hope, but I am terrified myself.

I recently posted a status update on my Facebook about "friendship".

As friends we are called to encourage, lift up, cheer on, stand in the same corner, celebrate in the happy times, hug in the hard, sacrifice, be intentional, be genuine, and just plain have each other's well-being at heart. As friends one of our successes is also the success of the other. Let's pat each other on the back and love each other hard--Makes life so much more pleasant! A dear friend said the other day--"I'd rather have four quarters than one hundred pennies".. Wake up tomorrow and be someone's quarter!!!

 I have my people and I am so thankful for them, but I have also been deeply hurt by friends in the past, and, sadly, I'm sure I have done the hurting to some also.  I just think we need each other in times like this.  We need people we can trust, people we can lean on, people who absolutely desire for us to be happy & us to be happy for them in return, people who help us strive to reach that happiness, people who keep our deepest darkest secrets-don't hold them against us, don't use them against us, and who trust us with theirs.  There's a need for more of these people! We need to be these people every single day of our lives.  We need to close our mouths and open our hearts.  We need to strip away our judgmental eyes and gossipy lips.  We need to put ourselves in others' positions and TREAT EACH OTHER LIKE WE WOULD WANT TO BE TREATED!----("we" meaning ME included)
This world is not our home.  These things that seem like ginormous every day disasters are not our eternity.  They will pass, but goodness gracious we have to love each other through them!

Getting caught up in every day life is easy, but sometimes every day life is hard.  It is just plain hard.
We recently built a house, and I remember in the middle of it all I sat down next to Ben one night and said, "I feel like I'm investing all this time and energy into something that is just going to waste away."  I immediately regretted the fact that I hadn't been investing all that energy into my relationship with Christ.  Letting myself get caught up in the day-to-day and looking at "the next best thing" had me feeling empty.  Yes-I was excited to build this home, move our family in, and start making memories, but I quickly realized it isn't WHERE we are that matters.  Jesus puts us right where we need to be, and He surrounds us with those he desires for us to be surrounded by to fulfill his purpose!
My friend Hope recently posted 1 John 2:15-17 and it was such an eye opener for me:

Do not love the world or anything in the world.  If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.  For everything in the world- the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does- comes not from the Father but from the world.  THE WORLD AND ITS DESIRES PASS AWAY, BUT THE MAN WHO DOES THE WILL OF GOD LIVES FOREVER.

It goes right along with the fact that there's more to life than what this world has to offer, but it also agrees with the idea that we (I) have got to stop letting myself get caught up in the "keeping up" and just enjoy what and who I have!

Every season of life has its peeks and pits.  Sometimes the pits seem so deep, and other times the small pits are overshadowed by the monstrous peeks!  Whatever the season of life is and whatever curve balls come our way we can rest in knowing that Jesus is our atoning Sacrifice and in Him and through Him we have a glorious awakening coming! Come, Lord, Jesus... come!!!!!

WARRIOR FOR CHRIST

I look back at you in your carseat-- the sun reflecting off your baby blues and rosy cheeks because you always get hot and bothered when i'm trying to put you in the car-- and i cannot help but say, "THANK YOU, JESUS FOR MAKING HER MINE"

Your sweet little voice.  The way you make such a big deal of the things that seem so small to our adult eyes and minds.  Your pitter patter when you walk.  Your sweet blonde curls.  Your dance moves.  How you "jump".  When you say "you okay momma?" and put your arm around my neck.  When we say, "let's pray to Jesus" and you cup your hands and touch your nose to them.  When you sing Jesus Loves Me and I'm a Little Tea Pot.  When you cuddle me and your tiny delicate fingers pat me on the back like you are letting me know you love me and saying "thank you, momma".  When you say "Go Way" to EmJay.  When you cup your ear and make the biggest o with your mouth every time you hear an "aypane" in the sky.  How you gaze out the window with such innocence.  How you double pump your arm with a pointed finger when you REALLY want something or say "okay okay".  How you say the word pumpkin--- "puhnkhin".  Your long skinny legs.  When you lay on your belly and kick in the bath tub.

Every day is different--You say something new, do a new gesture, have a new dance move, try a new food (ha yeah right.. just dreaming there), or discover something your eyes have never noticed.  I am in disbelief and completely grateful that I get to be here every day- that I am the momma that gets to have such a spectacular, full of life, energetic, talkative, silly head, dancing machine, sing her heart out, hug me so tight I can't breathe little girl to make every day even more than a blessing than it already was before you woke up.  I know it's not because of anything "good" I did--- It's because Jesus decided to send you to fill my days with joy.  He trusted me with you.  He daily trusts me to pour into you the wisdom and love that He is continuously providing me.  He also desires your heart, Millie.  Praise Him for that!

So, to my 19 month old ray of sunshine, this is what i pray for you.
I pray that the days of your life will be long.  So long that you fill them to the brim with things and people you love and you don't waste a single second looking down on yourself or wallowing in regret.  That you never stop seeing the world as such a large land that was created for your exploration.  That you see people for who they truly are--and that is who God sees them as.  That you find their identity and especially your own identity in our Lord.  He loves you, Millie.  I pray that you have friends.  That you have friends who will also love Jesus.  I pray that you have friends whose parents love Jesus.  That those friends are lights in your life and that, in return, you are a light to them.  I pray that your heart beats to the same rhythm as the heart of our Savior.  That you look for those who need help, believe in those who are helping alongside you, and that you help until you can't help anymore.  I pray that you love.  That you love with grace, mercy, consistency, prayerfully, selflessly, and shamelessly.  I pray for your sexuality.  That you will find a man who is lost in a love affair with Jesus.  That your relationship will be built on biblical truth, and that you will allow the Lord to guide you through life purely until the day you say "I do".  I pray for our relationship.  That you will see me as your mother, your teacher, your confidant and sounding board, your shoulder, your hand to help you up and lift you up, your arms that are wailing in the air cheering you on for all things you believe in, your beautician until my ways are no longer cool (which may be sooner than I hope), and as a sister in Christ.  I pray for your health.  That Jesus lays his hands on your life with a clean bill of health so that you can energetically use your hands, feet, voice, and heart to serve Him.  I pray for your happiness.  That you'll share joy in every place you plant your feet.  That you won't lose that contagious giggle and million dollar smile.  That you will still twirl all around and not worry about what people watching may think.  That the hard times will be overshadowed by blessings and strength.  I pray that you allow yourself to be YOU! I pray that Millie Everett Willard is a warrior for Christ.  Go get 'em, sweet baby girl.

18 months have come and gone

Millie- did you think I had forgotten you?!
Nope.. i've still been keeping monthly updates in your journal, but decided since you are ONE AND A HALF it calls for me to sit down, breathe, and digest all the changes in our lives the past six months!

You are amazing.  You make me smile and make my heart feel like it is going to bust at the seams every single day.

You do so many exciting things but first I want to list my favorites:
-you want kix or trix all day long.  You want them in a bowl you can carry around the house.  You go to the pantry, get the box out, bring it to me, and then your tiny little hands cup it at the bottom and you trot all over crunching away.
-you say "YEEHAW" when you get excited about something or in the place of "Yes"... i credit Sheriff Callie
-"Hey Yewww"
-when i say, "Let's go (insert anything here)..." you say "okayyyy" in the highest pitch voice and sometimes when you're bored with me it's more of a shoulder shrug and "hmmmmkay" :D
-you jump--which is more of a lift up on your toes and throw your arms up
-you say "ready, set, goooooo" or "1,2,3, Goooo" and take off running and go tag a wall or some object then run back to the starting point
-you can wear pigtails (oh my lands- so precious)
-the way you eat pizza---getting just the toppings and cheese off with your teeth makes me laugh every time
-the pitter patter of your feet on this floor
-shake your booty
-the way you say diaper..
-your wave and "dyyyyye dyyyeee" (bye bye)
-when you lay on your belly in the bathtub and kick your legs up behind you
-when you put your hands together and duck your head to pray
-how excited you get over the smallest things then bend over and creep around moving your feet so quickly with your fists quenched "okay okay okay"
-how much you LOVE your tent
-when you randomly lay down on your belly on a floor and pat it
-when you pat my back when i'm rocking you or holding you



you wear mostly 12-18 month clothes
size 4 diapers
sleep through the night! woo oho
about an hour nap each day


We finally moved into our new house!! YOU LOVE IT! you love the stairs and the porches the most. outside is your favorite place other than the play room *you love to show that off when we have visitors*