Ramsey Moore Willard | July 12, 2016 | 10:35 am | 8 lbs 12 oz | 21 in

When Dr. gorman told me on Monday that I hadn't progressed I was immediately heartbroken. ha.  but then he said... okay come check in tonight at 5.. WHAAAT!!! I don't think I really believed what I had heard.
I rushed home so I could get in some extra millie time, finish packing, and so fix my hair because it was disgusting.  Ben got home around 3.... we played with Millie, and then we headed to the hospital around 4:30

After we checked in I started keeping notes in my phone (which later some how got deleted but I was able to recover them after crying about it for two days).. because I knew there was no way I would remember all the details I wanted to.
Here are my notes with some added details

July 11---
5:00 pm- check in
Tried an IV in four places.  Kept popping out.  finally put one in arm crease (super uncomfortable and kept making the machine go off every time i moved)
-mom came by
-ben went to grab us stonemill---he bought every kind of cookie they had because he couldn't remember what kind i usually order.  WIN WIN

6:30- first cytotec dose

7- page got there to be my nurse! woo hoo

-Meredith, Andrew, & Claire come visit
-Don & Tinka come visit

7:35- started feeling cramps
8ish- page redid my IV in my left wrist.  so much better

-using the restroom about every 20 minutes


-cramps/contractions were pretty uncomfortable at this point.. I almost asked for the epidural but I wanted to still be able to walk to the bathroom

12 am- gave me heart burn medicine because I was feeling super nauseous

12:15- check-no change- still 2 cm
-2nd dose of cytotec
-dose of Nubian (knocked me out immediately.. i remember laying my head on the pillow and my eyes closed without me meaning for them to)...Ben and mom witnessed me laughing hysterically, crying, saying crazy things like "hide the vodka that's by the microwave" "get the basket of apples" "wiggle wiggle wiggle"..
-got up to potty at 1:40, 2:30, and 3:15 but it was such good sleep while I was sleeping to keep me from being up all night with the cramps/contractions

4:50--the dr. was about to start making his rounds so they had him come in to give me the epidural--surprisingly it did not hurt like i remember with millie..

6:00 am--check--barely a 3
-pitocin given
-catheter
-super nauseous

7:20- dr. partridge broke my water

9:27-- i told the nurse I felt like I needed to poop-- she checked me-- 6cm!

9:51--felt like i needed to poop again (that's the only way I could describe it haha)-- check-she said "well you probably do need to poop because you're complete. 10 cm!
-she said let's do a practice push while we wait on Dr. Partridge to get back in.  then she said "oh yep.. I see his hair! it's pretty dark.. I remember saying "huh.. you're not serious"

-about 25 minutes later Dr. P gets back in
-she said okay jamie i want you to do really big deep pushes and he will be here so fast!
first push--..she said okay there's the head
second push--okay keep pushing lets get this shoulder out
third push--push through almost there
fourth push--10:35---jamie look down here!  and he was completely out!!!!  I remember distinctly the nurse saying "write it down 10:35 am"
-the whole time i was pushing i remember thinking of my goodness am i ripping apart?!  and i kept trying not to look up where the tv was because I could see the reflection and i thought i might faint ha..
then when she told me to look up I saw some super chubby cheeks then saw his boy parts :)... i let out the biggest wail without realizing it.... i just started crying uncontrollably and looked up at ben and we both lost it.  they laid him on my chest (i thought he was going to slip off) and i just kept saying hey baby boy hey!!! oh my goodness! hey!!! and cried all over him!

SO. MUCH. HAIR... dark hair.  my absolute dream...

Ramsey you barely even cried...it was the sweetest little screech cry I had ever heard!!! oh my goodness you were so sweet  --(even when the nurse was giving you your bath and doing your measurements you didn't make a sound!!)
-luckily i had a newborn gown and a 0-3 because the newborn one wouldn't fit you... the hat I brought was too tight--i tore it trying to stretch it before putting it on your head :)

You got to stay in the room with us the whole day and night!!! it was amazing.. I didn't want to share you with anyone because I knew the time of just me you and your daddy was so very limited..

We had so many sweet visitors that were ready to meet you!   Your sister got to come meet you around 6.  it took her a few minutes to warm up to you but then she couldn't get enough and just wanted to hold you and kiss you and pinky promise you the whole time!!! Our hearts had never been so full!



The first time the nurses took me to the bathroom I literally laughed out loud when i looked at the sink and saw all of the "care products".. then i said "isn't Jesus so funny.  He let me forget all about all this fun stuff just so I would have another baby" ;)

I wanted to hold you all night long.  I was afraid to put you in the bassinet.  I don't even think i ever went to sleep!!!

The next day was a little rocky... we were supposed to get checked out by lunch time.. unfortunately your circumcision didn't go as planned---- the details literally made me have to get out of bed to go throw up... but we will see a urologist at children's on August 25 to get it scheduled with him :)


We love you... I couldn't believe how big of a baby you were (well actually i could because i guessed you would be at least 9 pounds from how big my belly was)...  I never met a sweeter baby in my life. You didn't make a peep the whole time we were at the hospital.  I was so amazed.  Your chunky cheeks, lips, and all your hair are some of my favorite parts!!!

39 week check

I left the doctor's office today thinking and telling myself I was okay.  That it's fine I wasn't dilated more than 2 cm.  It is fine.  I kept saying it.

Honestly, I have not a single thing to complain about... other than I'm just being eager, impatient, irrational, and selfish!!!!

I thought I really was fine with it.
Gorman told me to come back on Monday (due date is Tuesday) so we could see if I had progressed at all..

I realized as the day went on I am not fine with it--but I SHOULD be!  My attitude toward all the people who love and care about me and my attitude about some of the most petty things has been absolutely PITIFUL the remainder of this day.

I just sat down to have some quiet time with Jesus & I finished the book of Daniel.  After reading about the encouragement Daniel was given in the last dream of the book to finish well & know that he would be carried by Jesus to the end, I then flipped to Psalm 119.  Verse 71: MAY MY LIPS OVERFLOW WITH PRAISE FOR YOU.

Oh man... two different books of the Bible--both blatantly telling me to SUCK IT UP and realize what blessings I'm being covered with at this very moment in my life.

My baby boy is growing healthily inside of me!  I have zero pregnancy related health problems, and not a single major pregnancy complaint.  "GET OVER IT, ROWLAND" (ben calls me Rowland and I still have this haunting of my high school basketball coach yelling "pick it up, Rowland"  while my slow legs suffered through line drills and suicides at the end of every practice so I assume anyone trying to get my attention would) is what I imagine Jesus is  --graciously-- YELLING from His throne to me.
You're 39 weeks pregnant.  A pregnancy is set to be 40 weeks.  Get over yourself.  Rejoice in the fact that Jesus chose you to be a mommy, that Jesus is continuing to choose for your baby to grow and develop, and that in less than a week you get to meet and hold and squeeze and cuddle and kiss and all the things with your sweet new baby boy.

PRAISE YOU, JESUS.  PRAISE YOU FOR YOUR PROTECTION.  PRAISE YOU FOR YOUR LOVE.  PRAISE YOU FOR THE MIRACLE OF PREGNANCY.  PRAISE YOU FOR THE MIRACLE OF WHAT YOU'VE DESIGNED THE FEMALE BODY TO BE ABLE TO DO TO GROW A HUMAN LIFE AND THEN GIVE BIRTH.  PRAISE YOU FOR THE MIRACLE OF LIFE.  PRAISE YOU FOR CARRYING ME THIS FAR INTO PREGNANCY.  PRAISE YOU FOR KEEPING US BOTH HEALTHY.  PRAISE YOU THAT MY HUSBAND IS STILL MARRIED TO ME AFTER MY CONSTANT MOOD SWINGS AND INDECISIVENESS ON WHAT TO EAT AT EVERY MEAL.  PRAISE YOU THAT YOU CARE ENOUGH ABOUT ME TO KNOW ME, TO KNOW MY SON, AND TO ALREADY KNOW THE DATE, THE HOUR, THE MINUTE, AND THE SECOND I WILL MEET HIM.

THANK YOU, JESUS FOR 39 WEEKS AND ONE DAY OF PREGNANCY.

CHANGE MY HEART, CHANGE MY MIND, CHANGE MY PERSPECTIVE, AND CHANGE MY ACTIONS AND REACTIONS.

38 1/2 weeks

Ramsey---i turned 29 today.  it's a super weird feeling being so close to having a baby on your own birthday.  I will say, I have much more respect for your tone-tone for being pregnant with me in summer heat.  and to think, south eastern arkansas heat is much more humid than northwest arkansas.  no, thank you!

at my appointment Wednesday I had only progressed half a centimeter.. so 1 1/2 cm and 60% effaced.

I did get up the courage to ask about being induced.. the doctor said requirements are 39 weeks, 3 cm, and 80% effaced... so i'm not really holding my breath for that to be the case when I go get checked next week, ha!

Weight gain: 25 lbs

Not really feeling any changes.  I still can't get comfortable so I usually get up between 2-4 am to take a bath.  My stomach gets super hard and you stay in one stiff position--I can't get you to move, so getting in the bath is the only solution :).  It's glorious, sweet boy. ha

I'm still crunching ice... I've considered buying stock in Casey's ice.  i wish we could just stock our freezer with it!


Your daddy got me a cake from Shake's for my birthday.  it was heavenly.... simply heavenly.

Dad's predictions: July 5 8:22 am 9 lbs 2 oz 21 in
Mom's predictions: July 6 7:50 pm 8 lbs 4 oz 21.75 in


Just thinking about ya (of course I do all the time because you move constantly.... :) ) so I wanted to write down my thoughts.

SEE you soon!

Almost 38 weeks!

We had such a relaxing weekend! We took Millie to the pool.. Twice.. Took naps... Didn't have anything specific on the agenda the whole time. It was SO nice!
-mills, you're shaping up to love the pool and water after all (praise hands... Your lifeguard momma was worried for a minute)..  You love to just float around with your puddle jumper now!

Seeing as our weekend was so relaxed.. I'm confused on why my body feels like I've been hit by a truck or just completed a warrior dash.
I'm hoping it's because you're dropping, mr. Ramsey. It's been difficult to walk tonight without my back catching and sitting down is so painful because there's so much weight on my pelvis and hip bones. (I may have cried for about 30 minutes).
I've been trying to be so positive reminding myself that the Lord is blessing me with these days of life, days to soak in Time with Millie and time with Ben and time with friends before our lives change pretty drastically, but tonight I was defeated. My body feels defeated. It hurts.

-weight gain: 24 pounds
-no progress at last week's (37) appointment. Cried about that too ha.
-good news: your head is down ;)
-check up this week is Wednesday at 1:45
-your movement the past two nights around 10 pm has been CRAAAAAZY!!!   I wish I could just sit and video it the whole time.



I'm looking forward to this week: I have plans with lots of my girlfriends for dinner, we have family dinner plans, and we get to celebrate mine and cousin Stella's birthday on Friday! It will be a good busy week-- meaning we'll get to you quicker. Ha. 😜


Love you two kiddos through and through!
Thank you, Jesus for your abundancy of blessings

36 weeks & a big girl bed!

Ah!
36 week check up today!  I told myself I was not going to get my hopes up because I was never dilated at any of my "checks" when I was pregnant with Millie
After waiting an hour and a half.... *eye roll*... I finally got to go back & was dilated 1 cm.  to most this is nothing, but to me it FREAKS ME OUT... BECAUSE!!!! when I had Millie, we checked in and I was only a 2.. they kept me for about an hour and a half and I progressed to a 4... within 30-40 minutes I was already at a NINE!...they said if they had checked me before I wouldn't even have been able to get an epidural.. so... of course, now i'm feeling like I'm going to pop ya out when I get up to go potty in the middle of the night tonight :).  But then, it will probably actually be weeks.. ha!  I'm so eager to meet you lil' dude!

-I lost 3-4 pounds since last appointment
-the check didn't hurt nearly as bad as I remembered the first one with Mills
-it was the hottest day of the "summer" today and my pregnant body felt it

-i've almost kinda sorta wanted to go to the hospital twice in the past three days.  I feel constant pressure on my pelvis, and have been feeling super gassy.
-even taking a bath (and we all know how much i LOVE my baths) is not comfortable anymore
-my stomach is soooooo tight
-your movements are intense & ALL over my belly.  I am guessing it's your head resting on my left hip bone and your sweet little feet that like to kick my right rib cage
-i can't find a comfortable way to sit for longer than 10 minutes so I just stand up at random times :)
-clothes.... who invented those anyway?  for the birds... thankfully your daddy is super tall and has lots of tshirts that will still fit over my belly
-my reflux has dwindled significantly!!! thank goodness!

*total weight gain so far: 22 pounds (oh my lands)

*A few things I'm missing: sleeping on my belly, coffee (it makes my stomach so upset), running, soaking in the bath for a super long time, sleep in general, being able to control a belch haha, having cleanly shaven legs ha, driving comfortably--i'd rather just stay home than be in the car

*Things I'm so enjoying: seeing and feeling you move--I will never ever take these sweet movements for granted.. i'm so thankful I get to feel them, watching my belly grow (it's much bigger than it ever was with Millie)--it amazes me all the little details God thinks of and how a woman's body can do all the things it does to be pregnant and to prepare for child birth (such a beautiful testimony), seeing all my friends that are also pregnant & how much they're growing (it's so fun to do this alongside other people), listening to your sister talk about you ALL THE TIME and hearing what she thinks it is going to be like once you're here (I'm not sure she even gets that you're about to be a real human living in our house, but it's still cute)-----
*Can't wait: to see what color hair you have, to tickle those little cheeks, to feel your little hands on my chest, just to hear you, to see how big you'll be,  to rock you in your sweet rocker, to nurse you in the middle of the night, to get you home!!!!

So ready for you, Ramsey Roo


we did a quick impromptu photo shoot with Mere last week:

Millie! A big girl bed!!!! (it's a full size) On Saturday you helped your daddy put it together & you loved every minute of it!  You thought it was the coolest thing handing him screws and playing with the tools.  I did not help, but sat in your chair in your room snapping pictures and SOBBING the whole time.  I cannot believe how quickly this happened---just like every other milestone you've mastered.  My baby is not a baby anymore.  You're proving that more and more every single day.  

-I was nervous of how it would go, but of course, you just sailed right through the change.  You cried for about 10 minutes at nap time that day (but you'd started crying at nap time earlier in the week wanting me to hold you anyway--"momma howd yewww")... then you were asleep.  You slept for about an hour and a half, and as soon as I heard you start to stir we came up.  You were so proud!!! "i did it.  I sleep in big girl bed!"

-at bed time we still kept with our routine... we brushed your teeth, pjs, prayed with daddy, read books, talked about our day, turned off the lamp, I rocked you and sang you a few songs, then I put you down.  You whined for a few minutes, and then you were asleep!

-You haven't gotten out of the bed on your own yet.  You whine when you wake up and I come up and usually hop in bed with you, and you want to "hide"... so we play for a bit

-I LOVE IT AND SO DO YOU! it's so fun to be able to sit in your bed with you and to see how proud you are! You've told everyone about it, and want to show anyone that walks in our house!

I'm so proud of you, Millie Everett... mwah!

34 weeks & a busy, changing toddler

Ramsey Moore! You will be here so soon!!!  ah! 34 weeks! so insane to me.  i have a check up tomorrow..then my next one will be my first "check" and we'll go every week.  that is CRAZY to me.  it's gone by so quickly, little mister!!!  I'm still not realizing that I'm about to be a momma to two!  I also can't believe I'm about to have a baby boy in a few short weeks!  I feel like I can already smell your sweet scent and hear your little coos.  So ready to tickle those little piggies!!

-tone-tone is moving out this week, so i am excited to get all your goodies put together and in your nursery.  we are going to miss having her here, but I'll admit, I'm starting to get anxious about not having anything done in your room.

-i washed quite a bit of your clothes, blankets, etc last week and that got me SO EXCITED!!! little baby boy stuff is so fun!!!! ahhh!

-we had your shower two weeks ago and got showered with lots of goodies and necessities from so many people who love us more than we deserve! it was so sweet and cute! Your big sister thoroughly enjoyed opening all your gifts.

-we MIGHT have gone to home depot for paint yesterday and repainted your dresser because the first color wasn't quite what I wanted... MIGHT have.. :)


nothing fits.  seriously.  i refuse to buy anymore maternity clothes, though.  i did finally buy a pair of shorts last week but they're already getting snug.  I'm confident i'm about to have one of those bellies that looks like it's defying gravity.  I may not leave the house the next 5-6 weeks ha.

the top of my belly button is starting to poke out.  it never went out with millie

i'm far past the size i was with millie full-term and i'm slightly concerned with how much more weight i'm probably  going to gain. oh boy. ha

sleep doesn't exist... unless i take a nap when millie does.  i literally went pee last night about 17 times.. it was so ridiculous haha... but it's also a challenge to get comfortable... you'll hate me one day for saying this but my "chest" seems to have quadrupled.. and they're already leaking.. like a lot.. and have been since I was about 15 weeks.  but just the past two weeks it's been quite a bit more!

the doctor recommended doing mylanta for the reflux and it has been a game changer at night! so thankful!

i've been craving sweet tea.  every. single. day.  which is not something I've ever really allowed myself to have.  probably why my thighs look like tiny houses.

*****************************************************

Mills.. you're the sweetest.  You are learning like crazy!

-You know most of the alphabet... U and V still trick you up.  YOU LOVE THE FACT THAT M AND W ARE THE SAME.. you flip them over and over and say the letters.  You were in the car the other day making them with your fingers and flipping it over and over--none of us taught you that so i was amazed...
-you love to sing and learn songs easily.. you are very animated with your singing, too. haha
-you ask to hold my hand in the car and just like to cup your hand and sit it inside mine.  i love it
-you love your umbrella
-you are still slightly confused with wearing a swimsuit without panties.  it's kind of hilarious
-your daddy made you a "fort" of pillows on the bed last week and you kept piling them up and then said "here mom i'll make you a spoon" :)
-when you go down for nap or sleep and when you wake up you say "momma howd yew" about 50 times in the sweetest little voice
-every night no matter how recently you've used the bathroom, as soon as i turn the lamp off you say "potty in tonetone's potty mommy"
-"paci/giraffe in the car"..and you chunk your paci
-you're starting to prefer wearing certain things... you're not a big fan of denim shorts
-love making picnics with your food and stuffed animals
-you love to "read".. you climb in your chair either in the playroom or in your room and pretend to read books over and over..
-you love to "hide" under covers
-love super why, strawberry shortcake, the hive, and paw patrol
-you've started eating MUCH more at meals.  you usually finish your entire grilled cheese! that's a huge improvement!
-you like to water the plants, be on the porch, push your shopping cart and "go to target"..
-chocolate milk mom! no milk....just chocolate (with a thumbs up and the cutest smile)
-you keep saying "where baby ramsey? i'm ready for him!"... this morning you said "baby ramsey at the door.  he wants in.  he crying mom!"    he kicked you while you were in my lap yesterday and you elbowed him back with a funny look on your face.  hilarious.
-you had your last day of KDO and i'm so sad for you.  You love Missy and Darlene so much!!!!
-we think we are about to move to you to a big girl bed :D