Saturday, December 21, 2013

bumpity bump bump bump... 31 weeks tomorrow

First off, let me say HALLELUJAH for (almost) 2 weeks off of work to wear sweats/pjs and slippers 24/7!!  I've never been so excited to do NOTHING in my life!

We are etching our way to being SO close to meeting Miss Millie... although, I was eating lunch with Tinka and Brook (my MIL & SIL) yesterday and there was guy talking about his wife being 42 weeks pregnant... WHAAAAAT... ah that was discouraging haha!
I am so anxious to her!  I can wait to see whose eyes, and hair, and nose, and mouth she has..... What her smile looks like, to stare in amazement at her tiny feet (that my favorite part of a baby body) and hands.... I can't wait to see Ben hold her (and probably weep over her) and for our families to meet her.  I can't wait to rock her and feed her.... to bring her home and be her MOMMY... I'M GOING TO BE A MOM!!!  I think I still forget that this is about to happen and that I'm PREGNANT.
BUT I am quickly reminded when I have days like I did during the 30 week period of time.  What a ROUGH week it was... but we made it through.  I'll just say anything you read that says "may happen to some expecting moms, but not all" HAS happened to me... *knock on wood*.
My mom keeps saying "it's all just part of it", which I know is very true and none of it will cross my mind once Millie is here, but mom, it is kind of hard to listen to that from someone who had very normal/smooth pregnancies :).... and I don't mean mine has been HARD... but a little more unpleasant/uncomfortable at times than others :0

Praise Jesus that Millie is healthy & growing!! When Dawn scanned me last, she was about 3.5 pounds. It is amazing to look at the pictures from our first ultrasound to the most recent one-- such a miracle of life!

I am excited to get to spend Christmas at my grandparents' this year & with my family!  I love watching the boys on Christmas morning open their gifts....and this year, Pete AND Brody will get to be excited since Brody is old enough to get into things!  I am NOT looking forward to the drive there but I'm just making sure I wear especially comfortable clothes and take lots of pillows---it is really hard for me to sit up right for long periods of time--- big boobs + big belly + acid reflux/heart burn makes for one pissy mommy..ha!
After we do Christmas morning with my family we get to come back home and have Christmas celebration with the Willards!!!  It's going to be such a fun holiday with our niece and nephews... can't wait for Millie to join in on the action! ;)

Sunday, December 8, 2013

snow day #234810845/ 29 weeks preggers

Wow--I haven't updated in a while.  Sorry, Millie.. I know you will be so devastated when you turn 18 and I show you this blog and you realize how much of a slacker I have been.  ha..

Today I am 29 WEEKS PREGNANT.. absolutely CANNOT believe it!  SO many changes have happened to my body the past three weeks.
I will start on a high note-- you can definitely tell I'm pregnant (for some that may not always be a high note and this belly is something that has taken me a while to accept, but seeing as for the past six months all I've heard is "Jamie, are you sure you're pregnant?"--I'm definitely considering this a plus).  Another positive is that Millie is MOVING LIKE CRAZY and I love it.  It is a strange thing to see my bowling ball of a belly shift from one side to the other-- I count it a blessing.  She is most mobile when I'm in the bathtub (probably because I get the water way too hot....good thing I have a rubber ducky to judge the temp when Millie gets here).  Another plus of being 29 weeks pregnant is that I am in the THIRD trimester meaning she is SO close to being here!  Of course, the main high note is that the doctor says Millie is measuring right on time and looks to be healthy (what a praise), and that I'm also healthy... even though I've gained 18 pounds... whooooopsie!  So thankful every day that the Lord is allowing me to be a mommy to this precious baby girl!

Now for the rough parts... where to begin?!  I promise not to make this a pregnancy bashing session... well not on purpose at least.
Two weeks ago I went to visit my family since I was off for the week of Thanksgiving.  I wanted to be able to spend some extra time with everyone (since there isn't going to be much one on one time with family once Mills is here!).  I had such a fantastic time, and even got to squeeze in a fun day date with Pete Speer.  Brody melted my heart because he was attached to my belly (kept laying is head on it, kissing it, and saying "awwww") the whole time.
Ben wasn't able to go to Jonesboro with me because he had to work Monday and Tuesday.  I had already been feeling quite "uncomfortable" the week before... I woke up and headed home around 8:30.  I hadn't even made it to Searcy yet... well let me rephrase that.. I was two miles from the first Searcy exit when I started dripping sweat, my vision blurred, and I knew I was about to vom everywhere.  I pulled over--on the side of the interstate-- went around the car and threw up.. LOTS.  somehow I got back in the car and went to the nearest gas station to continue this puking rally.  I finally felt enough nerve to continue the drive and made it about 15 miles.  Within 45 minutes I pulled over a total of 6 times.  The last time (I was finally on a four lane highway instead of interestate) I turned into a cattle crossing, rolled down my window, laid my seat back, and cried.  It was so awful!!!

A few other things that haven't been so fun include the random acid reflux that usually results in throwing up... my boobs are GINORMOUS, and I have to use the bathroom every second of every day.. ha... but really.  I have also gotten REALLY tired of people saying "oh you just wait".... I am fully aware it will probably get much worse before Millie makes her arrival, but right now I'm struggling and that definitely does NOT help! :)

Okay okay enough of that, but seriously as I've said before.... this is what they should tell jr. high and high schoolers in family living classes....

We have gotten quite a bit done in the nursery!  We ordered the glider, bedding should arrive by Tuesday (if the snow and ice ever clear), ben built shelves in the closet, we got super cute wire baskets to put in the closet for half price on Black Friday (online.. no I did not venture out to a store), I stained the bookshelf and covered the backing to match the bedding, we got the picture hung above the changing table, her name is finished and hanging above the crib, and curtains have been ordered.  WHEW... only a few more things to make it all complete!!!!  I am having so much fun!
I have been able to do a few fun craft projects since we didn't have school on Thursday and Friday due to all the ice and snow.  As I'm typing this, I just got the call that there's no school tomorrow (arghhhhh), so I'm thinking I need to go to stock up at JoAnn to have things to occupy my time.  Perhaps, I should begin the nesting stage and start cleaning out this house, though???

Here are a few picture updates of our lives lately :)

27 weeks

EmJay and I in the snow on Friday.  Note: she hated it!

Ben and I got to take one more trip together before little Miss Millie arrives.. We went to Dallas for the Kari Jobe live recording at the Magestic

more... snow....

Millie at 26 Weeks

The Willards :)

Monday, October 21, 2013

21 weeks... DONE!

Millie has been ON THE MOVE!
I'm usually really tired when I get home from work (not like sleepy tired, but definitely ready to put on comfy clothes and hit the couch).  This week I have been relaxing on the couch with the computer on my lap and listening to Kari Jobe.  Around 4:15 each day Millie starts to wiggle-- A LOT!  I'm hoping she will be as big of a Kari Jobe fan as I am :).
Ben finally felt Millie move last weekend.  It was SO fun to watch his face.  He doesn't quite think it is as neat as I do so I was a little disappointed in his reaction... then I realized, my experience with this baby is completely different than the one he is getting right now so, of course he isn't going to get as "into" all the little details as I am at this point.  He has been very sweet this week and putting his hand on my belly to feel her and talk to her each day! I love it!

I'm in full maternity clothes wearing mode.  It is insane how within one week my belly "blew up"!  It's crazy to compare my 19 week picture with my 20 week!

At 21 weeks: I am unable to sleep comfortably (yes, already), wearing all maternity pants (leggings quite a bit--thank you Jesus for that invention), and feeling Millie move ALL of the time!!!  I have gained 5 pounds... mostly in my FACE AND ARMS lol.  It is disgusting how puffy my face is :(  Ben says "Won't everything just get bigger?!" ha.. he sure knows how to console his wife and make her feel better!

Here I am yesterday 21 going on 22 weeks! :)
(my pants need ironed... I hate to iron...)

My family came to visit for the weekend.  My sister and I bought my mom a black pug for her birthday (she has been very lonely since sweet zoe passed away a few years ago), and my sister got the boys an English bulldog so they came up to pick up the puppies!  I was super busy all afternoon yesterday so I didn't have time to have the usual meltdown that I do when they leave.  It definitely hit me this morning, though.  Of course, I miss my mom and sister (and dad) so much, and it is really hard being away from them--especially being pregnant because they don't get to experience the little things with me that people who live near me are getting to.... but it is even harder knowing I have three nephews whose lives I don't get to be a big of a part of as I would like to be.  Every time I see them I get so emotional because they change so much.  Pete Speer is a mature Kindergartner---he has overcome mountains that I prayed he would for so long.  I pray for him daily that his teachers and classmates would have the same love and patience for him that we do.  He truly is the sweetest most kind-hearted little boy I know.  Brody is a mess.. but the cutest mess you'll ever meet--SUCH A HAM.  He and Pete are the best big brothers to Brennan (who is just a cute little chunk monster!!!)  Brennan has changed so much since I saw him in the summer :(.  Luckily, I get to see them again this weekend for Brody's birthday!  I know it is going to be even harder once Millie is born and they don't get to see each other as much as I want.  UGHHH... life surely isn't "fair" sometimes...  So thankful to be their aunt, though!

Millie's room is painted!!! Thanks to my amazing husband who stayed up all night Thursday to get it finished before my family got here.... (we should've thought through the whole process more and not started in the middle of the week.... but I don't have a brain these days!)
We are waiting for her bedding to come in (should be in the middle of November) before painting or planning anything else for the nursery. :)

I'll end with a pic of my mom's dog... Miss Daisy .. she has my heart!!
I want her!!!

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Half Way There!

Ah! I can't believe tomorrow marks 20 weeks of walking through this life with a precious baby girl in my belly!  This morning I was thinking back to those hard weeks when it was difficult to even get out of bed (praise the Lord that was during the summer).  I remember a few times telling Ben I didn't know how people went through a pregnancy with other kids to take care of at the same time.  Honestly, thinking back I can't really even remember what was so hard!  Of course, I remember feeling nauseous 24-7 and that certain foods sounded awful, but I don't remember the feeling I had inside of me that was saying "I can never do this again!" because now it all seems like a small portion of this 20 week long blessing.  Every single little feeling (good or bad) is completely worth getting to the point of pregnancy when you feel movement inside.  Feeling Millie move makes all of this feel so real... I can't wait for Ben to be able to feel her move, too.
Seeing her on the "big screen" at the doctor makes it feel real, too. We went for our "20 week appointment" on Thursday and I will say--it never gets old seeing her precious profile or her tiny hands and feet.  She already seems to have so much personality!

I'm not very consistent with this weekly picture thing, but I try to have Ben take one when I do remember!  Here I am this morning... 19 going on 20 :)

My bump isn't really what I think of when I think "baby bump", but I'm thankful to finally be showing (I know I may eat those words in a few weeks).
At our appointment Dr. Gorman said I am measuring small, but Millie is actually measuring right at her due date!!  She weighs about 10 oz and is about 7 in long!  CRAZY!

I finally broke down on Friday night and ordered some maternity clothes.  Friday at school I wore some skinny jeans and I was absolutely MISERABLE (even with a hair tie holding the button/fastener together).  I'm pretty sure it put me in a bad mood.  So, I will soon be a maternity pants wearing lady.  I'm holding out on shirts for a while because I usually wear my shirts pretty big anyway and they still fit for now :).  

My students are so interested in Millie!  It is so fun!  I was very sick at school on Wednesday (throwing up.. I think either a bug or something I ate) and they kept asking if Millie was okay.  Carter even said, "What if when you threw up in the trash can Millie came out?!?"  BLESS HIM :)  I'll save that explanation for you, Kylie Moad :).

Since we found out we are having a little girl, I have become mildly obsessed with making bows and headbands!  I can't stop!  I decided it'd be cheaper for me to make a few myself instead of spending $10-12 each plus shipping from etsy ;)

We've been busy bees getting things together for the nursery :).  Ben finally let me order Millie's bedding! So excited, but it won't be in until the middle of November.  We have also decided on a color to pain the nursery.  Last weekend we got the crib finished after three weeks of hard work!  I am very pleased with the end result!  It matches the changing table perfectly!

One of the fun fabrics in Millie's bedding!

Let the next 20 weeks begin!!!

Friday, September 20, 2013

Going on 18 weeks....

It is still very hard for me to believe I am pregnant.  Thankfully, now, if I forget, I have a small "baby bump" to remind me!

We found out last Monday we are having a GIRL!  I am honestly sooooo thrilled, and I knew a girl was what Ben was hoping for (me too, maybe just a little).

We have an official name for our baby girl- Millie Everett Willard.

I am currently 17 weeks pregnant (will be 18 on Monday).  I have taken a few "bump" pictures but in this week's you can actually see her poking her way through!

My pants still fit-as of today.  They are starting to get slightly uncomfortable, though.
My shirts fit in my BELLY area, but are SUPER tight on my CHEST.. gerrrr!

Of course, it has been extremely difficult not to spend every extra penny we have on Miss Millie because there are SO many cute baby girl clothes out there and we all know I LOVE to shop!!!  I have gotten her a FEW things, though.  :)  I have her nursery all mapped out in my mind.  I found this awesome site called lullaby paints (they are nursery safe) and will be painting her crib on my own!  I am so excited and hope it turns out as planned!   I have the bedding sitting in my etsy cart waiting for Ben's okay- ha!

Ben's mom told us Dillard's was having a big summer sale so we went last night to see if we could find Millie anything.  Ben looked like a kid in a candy store holding up outfit after outfit.  He was tearing up within the first 5 minutes.  Then he said, "I just don't know if I can do this emotionally.  It's all so cute."  That just shows how excited he is, and that she truly already has him wrapped around her finger!

Dawn Hellard (the most amazing person in the world) has been doing ultra sounds for me since my doctor only does one at 20 weeks.  I got to go see Millie yesterday and she is quite the wiggle bottom!!! She was doing front and side flips the entire time we watched her!  I seriously love seeing her.  She has already grown so much since last week!  I'm trying to savor every little second of being pregnant (thankfully I'm finally in my second trimester and have my energy back!!!--yeahhh), but it is so hard not to just long to hold her and see her tiny little hands and feet externally!

My doctor gave me the OKAY to switch to the gummie prenatal vitamins (even though they don't have the iron needed) since the others had been making me SO sick.  I will switch to prescription ones when I get to my third trimester---so I get the iron I need to help my blood clot during delivery!

Thank you, Lord for this healthy baby girl growing inside of me.  I know she is truly a gift from You.  I pray she will have a heart that seeks You at an early age, and that she longs to glorify Your name in all she does.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

"Pregnant"!/scariest day ever

AHHHH!!! Still cannot even believe it!

It has been a few weeks since we saw those words "pregnant" on the first pregnancy test I've ever taken.  It was a random Sunday night and my breasts (yep I said it) were feeling SO sore and swollen.  I was about two days late which was completely normal for me because I'm never regular.  We'd have a very relaxing day/night, and I just stood up from the couch (around 10 pm) and said, "I'm gonna go take a pregnancy test just for fun".  Apparently, Ben didn't even hear me say that.  I had a test in the ovulation kit I had bought because we had planned to start "trying" at the end of June.  When I took the test and saw "pregnant" I felt like I was watching the new Huggies commercial where the couple gets excited that they're pregnant and then says "Now what do we do??"... I walked slowly into the living room (mouth dragging the floor) and just held up the test.  Ben quickly said, "WHAT???".. HA  So, not knowing what to do next, we jumped in the car and drove to wal-mart neighborhood market.  I took three more tests that night---all read "PREGNANT"... I continued to take a test a day for the next five days!  I was in disbelief!  Of course we weren't trying to PREVENT baby Willard from happening, but I was just in shock that it happened so quickly---on the FIRST time!  I had been worrying for months that it would take us years to get pregnant.  So much, that I was starting to stress over it quite a bit.

I can't help but think (every time I think about this little lentil bean.. which is pretty much every second) about how TRULY BLESSED we are.  And when I say blessed, I'm not saying it nonchalantly. I mean down right BLESSED by the our living Lord.  I know so many people who have tried and tried to get pregnant, and i was convinced that would be me.  I have no idea why the Lord chose to bless us with the amazing miracle so quickly, but I have promised Him I will not take this blessing for granted.  I pray so diligently for those sweet mommy wanna-bes that He would bless their deserving hearts as well.  I seriously tear up every time I think about the fact that I was chosen to carry a child.  Ben and I were with our friends Sarah and Jared last night for dinner--and I couldn't help but look at little Hudson and think of what a miracle it is that this baby inside of me is the size of a lentil bean right now, but will soon be sitting beside me in his or her carseat.  AHHHHH!  Thank you Jesus for your tiny yet so amazingly HUGE miracles.

Oh.. Can I just take a few minutes to say how ADORABLE it is how excited Ben Willard is about this baby!!! He is SOOOOOO stinkin' excited (I was a little worried he was more excited than I am, but then I thought nah--not possible).  He is all about reading reviews on things, looking for baby stuff, and even talking to the tiny nugget already.  I LOVE it!

I had a slight (well if you know me you know nothing is small... I usually tend to dramatize things) scare today.  I woke up around 9 (woooo hoooo for sleeping in), and was spotting when I went to the bathroom.  I knew the doctors had said this is completely normal (as well as the 3 books I'm reading).  I ran a few errands, and then got to school around 11:30 to work on my classroom.  When I went to the bathroom then there was more bleeding and some in my underwear (still not the bright red freak out kind of blood but getting pinker and heavier).  Ahh... i took deep breaths.. and tried not to freak and sent the pic to a few people (definitely TMI but I knew they were all people who love me and baby Willard).  About an hour later it was bleeding pretty excessively (I'm still trying not to freak at this point), and a few people said I should just call the doctor to reassure myself everything was okay.  When I called and explained how long I had been bleeding THEY panicked me...  The girl asked how far away I was.. I said about 15 minutes and she said "Leave right now".  ahhhhhhh.  Luckily, Meredith had just showed up at school to check on me and took this nervous wreck mommy-to-be to the doctor (best friend ever.........seriously, so thankful for her every single day).  We prayed on the way to the hospital... can I just say again how thankful I am to have a best friend that loves me for me, is there for me, who has such a big heart, who seeks the Lord's will, and who I can just be a complete idiot with.......      Ben met us there (he made it in record time which is scary enough).  I had an ultrasound then met with the doctor.  Apparently the site of implantation at my uterus hadn't healed up and there was a pocket of bleeding next to the placenta.  Everything other than that looked good!-baby's heart rate was 167... and when they did measurements (just as Dawn Hellard had also told me when she measured) it appeared they that the original due date wrong... so baby's expected due date is March 2!  Thankfully I freaked out most of my family for nothing---well not nothing it was still super scary.  I can't work out for two weeks... gerrrrrrrrr... just to give the implantation area time to heal and HOPEFULLY the bleeding will stop.  Could have been MUCH worse.  Possibly one of the top 5 scariest days of my life.  Thankful for so many people who surround me with love, prayers, and support daily.  You know who you are!! Prayers answered... yet again.  Thankful to serve such a faithful and delivering God.

Another plus side I've noticed from my pregnancy (Ben prefers me to call it OUR pregnancy.. yeah buddy you can take on this constant nausea any time ya want)... I feel like I've already become much closer to my sister and sister-in-law.  Since they both have kids and I don't (yet), we don't always have the same things on our minds or have as much to talk about.  The Lord is making these relationships stronger and I am so thankful.
It has been hard the past couple of years being 4 hours away from my family. I has definitely put a strain on the relationships with my mom and sister.  I am so blessed to have a sister who cares so much about me and wishes so much happiness upon me.  I love that we can now share in motherhood together.  What a blessing.

Wooo hoooooooooo for baby WILLARD!!!!! longest blog post ever is now complete! :)  Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement!!!