Thursday, August 18, 2016

One Month | 30 Months

Ramsey Moore! You are a whole month old!! WHAAAT?! when did that even happen?
This has been quite a month for us all!  You are so beautiful, precious boy!  Your hair and cheeks still amaze me just like they did as soon as I first looked at you!

-When you're mad, you get a red mark between your eyes
-you have a dimple on your right cheek
-you make a sweet snore/coo when you sleep and then squeal when you wake up and stretch. love.
-you have mastered the smile.  sometimes you smile so big that your eyebrows and forehead raise up
-you've had SOOOO many blow out diapers... most have been when you're sitting in my lap haha
-you have the longest wingspan i've ever seen on a baby!
-again, your hair is amazing, and the roots are starting to look super light
-skin tone is so dark
-you're a super aggressive eater-- just like your dad
-i think you would nurse all day if i would let you
-love to swing
-hate the bouncer
-love the sound machine
-love to be swaddled and recently demand your arms out
-NO to pacis (we have tried four different kinds)
-take a bottle well when needed (we use dr. browns)
-love the car seat... as long as we are moving
-love millie voice and you always smile when you hear her (she talks to you in a SUPER high pitched tone ha)
-grunt a lot
-love the bath
-my favorite thing to do is lay back with you on my chest... we both take the best naps that way
-you love to fall asleep laying in my lap against my legs and me swaying them from side to side.  it always puts you to sleep
-you look  best in red and navy
-you have pretty deep blue eyes right now
-your lips are so puffy/pouty and i just want to kiss them

Favorite moments this month:
-one of our first nights home you were crying.. a lot... we couldn't figure it out.  your daddy was changing your diaper around 10:30 and you were screaming!!!!!  nothing would soothe you.. so i leaned over to shhh in your ear (and might have tried to nurse you while he was changing you).. i felt a warmth on my back and in my hair... you were peeing all over me!
-first bath: millie pulled the plug on your bath without us knowing... water went alllllll over the counter, down the cabinets, and all over my phone and camera...... we scooped you out and your dad and tone tone started  cleaning up so i went to put clothes on y ou and you peed all over me again!
-our first big outing was taking you and your sister to the splash park in bentonville
-we were all four sitting on the couch one night laughing and having a happy were in my lap laid against my knees facing me-- i look down and you have poop in your belly button... spewing out of every side of your diaper!!!
-I was changing your diaper that had gotten all over me.  laid you in the living room floor and millie steps in the poop diaper :)
-you pooped in my bed.. was all over the covers... millie was in there with us and she starts gagging "I cannot help you mom"

Sad news:
we are pretty sure you have reflux.. you are so super uncomfortable, arch your back when you spit up and scream (and you spit up.. all. the. time... ALL THE TIME) are inconsolable and we can't calm you down... you won't take a  paci so really the only thing that we can do to help is for me to  nurse you... it is the saddest thing.. you choke a lot when you try to swallow...
-finally took you back to the doctor at week 3 and thankfully saw Dr. McCord who prescribed us medicine...Zantac.. she said to give it 10 days and if it hadn't made you a "completely different baby" to come back to get stronger meds...
-we are praying this helps and that you are able to find some comfort and relief, Mister.  it is so hard to see you like this.. your daddy said "I feel like i haven't even met my son yet".. we are ready for happy healthy Ramsey!


MILLIE! you're getting so old, woman :).  We love you, too!  You have been the BEST big sister to your brother... I could not have prayed for you to love him more!  it's amazing.  Thank you! It makes it all much easier that you care so much about him.  You are the first responder when he cries.. and usually say something like "Rams is crying" "Mommy you need to help him" "Rams is mad at you mommy" :)
-you ask to hold him all the time & as soon as i come get you in the morning or from nap you ask if he is awake.. .hearing you say " is rams awake"through your paci just melts me (but that paci needs to go, sister)
-you console him "it's okay rams... it's okay" and are constantly touching him saying "hey buddy bud"

some of our favorite things you say these days:
-"which one you pick?'
-"I take my Jesus with us in the car, mom... here you carry my Jesus book" (bible)
-you sing jesus loves me, zacchaeous, happy am i, deep and wide, twinkle twinkle... ally the time
-'what her daddy's name mom"
-"you stand in the kitchen" when you're pooping..
"put my shoes on off"
"daddy run with me?"
-"wanna hide"
-"build a castle with me"
-'what in da woooold (world.. i love love love how you say that word) "
-"sing another song to me mom" when i'm rocking you

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Ramsey Moore Willard | July 12, 2016 | 10:35 am | 8 lbs 12 oz | 21 in

When Dr. gorman told me on Monday that I hadn't progressed I was immediately heartbroken. ha.  but then he said... okay come check in tonight at 5.. WHAAAT!!! I don't think I really believed what I had heard.
I rushed home so I could get in some extra millie time, finish packing, and so fix my hair because it was disgusting.  Ben got home around 3.... we played with Millie, and then we headed to the hospital around 4:30

After we checked in I started keeping notes in my phone (which later some how got deleted but I was able to recover them after crying about it for two days).. because I knew there was no way I would remember all the details I wanted to.
Here are my notes with some added details

July 11---
5:00 pm- check in
Tried an IV in four places.  Kept popping out.  finally put one in arm crease (super uncomfortable and kept making the machine go off every time i moved)
-mom came by
-ben went to grab us stonemill---he bought every kind of cookie they had because he couldn't remember what kind i usually order.  WIN WIN

6:30- first cytotec dose

7- page got there to be my nurse! woo hoo

-Meredith, Andrew, & Claire come visit
-Don & Tinka come visit

7:35- started feeling cramps
8ish- page redid my IV in my left wrist.  so much better

-using the restroom about every 20 minutes

-cramps/contractions were pretty uncomfortable at this point.. I almost asked for the epidural but I wanted to still be able to walk to the bathroom

12 am- gave me heart burn medicine because I was feeling super nauseous

12:15- check-no change- still 2 cm
-2nd dose of cytotec
-dose of Nubian (knocked me out immediately.. i remember laying my head on the pillow and my eyes closed without me meaning for them to)...Ben and mom witnessed me laughing hysterically, crying, saying crazy things like "hide the vodka that's by the microwave" "get the basket of apples" "wiggle wiggle wiggle"..
-got up to potty at 1:40, 2:30, and 3:15 but it was such good sleep while I was sleeping to keep me from being up all night with the cramps/contractions

4:50--the dr. was about to start making his rounds so they had him come in to give me the epidural--surprisingly it did not hurt like i remember with millie..

6:00 am--check--barely a 3
-pitocin given
-super nauseous

7:20- dr. partridge broke my water

9:27-- i told the nurse I felt like I needed to poop-- she checked me-- 6cm!

9:51--felt like i needed to poop again (that's the only way I could describe it haha)-- check-she said "well you probably do need to poop because you're complete. 10 cm!
-she said let's do a practice push while we wait on Dr. Partridge to get back in.  then she said "oh yep.. I see his hair! it's pretty dark.. I remember saying "huh.. you're not serious"

-about 25 minutes later Dr. P gets back in
-she said okay jamie i want you to do really big deep pushes and he will be here so fast!
first push--..she said okay there's the head
second push--okay keep pushing lets get this shoulder out
third push--push through almost there
fourth push--10:35---jamie look down here!  and he was completely out!!!!  I remember distinctly the nurse saying "write it down 10:35 am"
-the whole time i was pushing i remember thinking of my goodness am i ripping apart?!  and i kept trying not to look up where the tv was because I could see the reflection and i thought i might faint ha..
then when she told me to look up I saw some super chubby cheeks then saw his boy parts :)... i let out the biggest wail without realizing it.... i just started crying uncontrollably and looked up at ben and we both lost it.  they laid him on my chest (i thought he was going to slip off) and i just kept saying hey baby boy hey!!! oh my goodness! hey!!! and cried all over him!

SO. MUCH. HAIR... dark hair.  my absolute dream...

Ramsey you barely even was the sweetest little screech cry I had ever heard!!! oh my goodness you were so sweet  --(even when the nurse was giving you your bath and doing your measurements you didn't make a sound!!)
-luckily i had a newborn gown and a 0-3 because the newborn one wouldn't fit you... the hat I brought was too tight--i tore it trying to stretch it before putting it on your head :)

You got to stay in the room with us the whole day and night!!! it was amazing.. I didn't want to share you with anyone because I knew the time of just me you and your daddy was so very limited..

We had so many sweet visitors that were ready to meet you!   Your sister got to come meet you around 6.  it took her a few minutes to warm up to you but then she couldn't get enough and just wanted to hold you and kiss you and pinky promise you the whole time!!! Our hearts had never been so full!

The first time the nurses took me to the bathroom I literally laughed out loud when i looked at the sink and saw all of the "care products".. then i said "isn't Jesus so funny.  He let me forget all about all this fun stuff just so I would have another baby" ;)

I wanted to hold you all night long.  I was afraid to put you in the bassinet.  I don't even think i ever went to sleep!!!

The next day was a little rocky... we were supposed to get checked out by lunch time.. unfortunately your circumcision didn't go as planned---- the details literally made me have to get out of bed to go throw up... but we will see a urologist at children's on August 25 to get it scheduled with him :)

We love you... I couldn't believe how big of a baby you were (well actually i could because i guessed you would be at least 9 pounds from how big my belly was)...  I never met a sweeter baby in my life. You didn't make a peep the whole time we were at the hospital.  I was so amazed.  Your chunky cheeks, lips, and all your hair are some of my favorite parts!!!