Thursday, March 27, 2014

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

One month.. how can it be?

Millie.... we have to find a way to make time slow down.  You turned one month old on Sunday...  Unacceptable!!
At one month old you like to: GRUNT..A LOT :) (your daddy says you get that from me), kick, coo, EAT, sleep, wave your arms, sleep with your mouth open (like your TONE TONE), lay on your lamb, smile... did I mention you like to EAT? and you certainly let us know when it is time!!
I love to watch you sleep, rocking you, kissing your big cheeks, dressing you up, staring in amazement at your tiny (but long) hands, giving you a bath, putting lotion on your, brushing your hair, and watching the BAGILLION faces you make!

I don't even know where to begin trying to explain the feelings I have about the month we just experienced.  I have loved your daddy for over three years, but I have never had so much love in my heart for him as I do when I watch him with you.  Of course, he doesn't like to be told what to do and he likes to pick on you, but he loves you with every thing he has.  He loves you so well.  He is completely enthralled with your existence, and that makes me fall in love with him all over again every night.  Last night I was talking to him about how I feel like I have rushed through every stage of my life up until this point, and all I want right now is to SLOW down and cherish every single second I have with you.  I think he was REALLY listening to me (that's unusual ;0) because when he was playing with you last night I caught him looking at you in the mirror and crying.  See, I told you he loves you so well.
Of course, I think I love you more :)... Every day that I have gotten to stay at home with you has been the most amazing blessing I've ever experienced.  I could sit and watch you all day, but I know that social services would eventually take you away from me because of the mess of a house we would have!  Seeing your smile melts my heart in a way I never knew was possible.  The sweet coo you make when you close your lips up into a tiny little o shape is the most precious sound I've ever heard.  I am so uncertain why the Lord chose me to receive such a precious gift, but I thank Him every time I think about it.

Yesterday when I was rocking you I started to tell you about Jesus.  I told you about how much God loves you and that He loves us so much that He sent the ultimate gift to this earth to rescue us all.  I also told you that without God we wouldn't have this time together and your existence wouldn't even be possible.

Isn't it amazing how HE loves us?  His love for us is so selfless, so pure, so mighty, so beautiful, so reliable, never-ending, unchanging.. and on and on.. His love for us is natural.  We don't have to win it or beg for it.  My prayer for you since before I even knew I was pregnant was that you would love and trust the Lord at an early age.  That you would devote your life to seeking and glorifying him.  I continue to pray that over you.  I pray that you would see the beauty in following Him and that you would turn to Him when life isn't so beautiful.  I also pray that your daddy and I would be Godly examples for you daily through our words, but most importantly, through our actions.  I also selfishly pray that you'll actually like me when you grow up ;))).. ha... but really--maybe not in those exact words, but you get the point!

We love you, Millie Everett & are so excited for this journey of life with you! I am so thankful to be your momma!!

Here are some pics of us trying to get the "perfect" shot on your one month birthday.  (daddy went all photographer mode and set the whole thing up)

and.. our favorite :)

a few other favorites from this month

(our first trip out was to see daddy at work)

(this was your first "sponge bath"... you peed all over me :)

(our first trip out was to see daddy at work) 

told ya you sleep a lot and that you make a bagillion different faces :)

Saturday, March 8, 2014

TWO weeks old!??!

oh my goodness gracious!! Millie--- you are going to be two weeks old tomorrow!  How is that possible?
Okay Okay... here's our story!

February 22 around 8:45 PM I started feeling you move like I had never felt before!  It felt like you were moving across the top of my belly then pressing down!  I honestly didn't even think "labor" like I had with every other feeling I'd felt the past 4 weeks.  I just thought it was gas :/. HA.. I also didn't want to be the "little girl that cried wolf" and tell my family I thought I was having contractions and throw everyone into a panic only to find out it was false labor!
After these "movements" had gone on for about an hour (12 minutes apart) I called Wendi to explain what was going on and her thoughts--"YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE MILLIE WITHIN 24 HOURS)... ha but I was still in denial.  The "movements" as I kept calling them continued until about 12 pm... they weren't unbearable.. just uncomfortable.  I took a few baths (lol) to try to find comfort.. we let both of our moms know what was going on and then I decided I needed to try to get SOME rest because if these were going to turn into contractions I knew I needed to be rested for labor (yeah right)...
I slept from about 12-4 am off an on.. when I woke up I took another bath and the "movements" were continuing.  They were super inconsistent, though... so not enough to keep track of.  Around 8:30 I called my mom and she said she had already made up her mind to head to Fayetteville even if I didn't give her the "go ahead".  Ben and I went to eat lunch at the mall with his parents... and walked a lap around.  Sometime between about 10 and noon I believe I changed my mind and finally came to terms with the fact that I was feeling contractions rather than "movements".  By the time we made it home mom was here.  She and I sat in our chair and watched the video of funniest game show moments.. during that 13 minute video my contractions started getting a little more intense.  So much that I had to hand the computer over to mom.  I started timing them (around 1:30/2)... and they were about 8-10 min. apart.  They steadily got more and more intense.... I began to have to grip the chair arm... I started bouncing on the exercise ball.. and it was hard to stand.  Around 2:30ish they were about 7 min. apart and quickly went to being 7, then 4, then 4, then 3, then 2, then 4, then 2........ and so on.  Since the doctor said to come in when they're 5 min. apart for an hour I realized I should've probably already been on my way to the hospital.  Ben and I had our bags ready for weeks, but let me just say when you are contracting your mind truly can't think of anything else.  I forgot quite a few things I planned to take (but nothing super important).
We got to Willow Creek around 4 PM (Sunday, the 23rd) and they told me to get changed into the gown.  That was really the only time I got aggravated with Ben because I was already hurting pretty badly and neither of us could figure out the gown.  I remember stomping my foot like I was a child throwing a tantrum.  (ha)... finally they checked me and I was only a 2.. I was dreading the words "we are going to send you home".. but they said they'd keep me there an hour and see if I progressed.  I kept apologizing throughout that hour because I felt like I was being SO loud (so much for me thinking I'm good with pain ahha)... When they checked me again I was a 4.. so they put the IV in and had us fill out paper work (seriously that should be illegal to make a woman have to sign papers and answer important questions when something that crazy is happening to her body).   They wheeled me down to the room around 6... after what seemed like 24 hours the anesthesiologist came in to give the epidural (all I really remember up until that point was seeing Ben's hand right next to me (so stiff) waiting to have my nails dug into it.. ha he was so supportive.  I was quite unaware that they inject the epidural DURING a contraction so, yeah... that wasn't fun!  The man happened to be from Brinkley (right where I'm from) so he just kept talking about all the good BBQ and asking me if I knew blah blah blah... i honestly wanted to kick him in the mouth because I didn't want to have to answer another question (poor guy- I did later apologize to him after I could feel the "juice" and said I wasn't usually so unpleasant to people that I would normally consider myself very friendly).
About 5 minutes later he was asking me questions for paperwork and I was to the point of screaming.  I looked at Ben and said I DO NOT WANT TO FEEL ANOTHER ONE OF THESE THINGS!!!! He looked at the nurse and said (and I'll never forget) "I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO CHECK HER AGAIN BECAUSE IF SHE IS JUST AT A 4 SHE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MUCH PAIN".
So, she checked me and I was at a 9.. (yep, within like 20 minutes!).  DEAR HEAVENS!  Then he said, "OH...push the button and give her the second dose" "HALLELUJAH" IS WHAT RAN THROUGH MY MIND!  Within a few minutes I felt nothing but a little pressure!
We hadn't brought anything in so Ben decided he was going to go to the car to get our bags.. As he was walking out the door Dr. Gorman was walking in and said "I don't think you're gonna wanna leave buddy... we're gonna have a baby in the next half an hour!"
I won't get into the labor details, but after about 11 pushes Dr. Gorman told me he wanted me to reach down and feel Millie's head during the next contraction/pushing (kind of weird, I know).. when I reached down I jerked my hand back and asked what I was feeling and felt so much pressure be released.  What he thought was just going to be Millie's head coming out ended up being her WHOLE BODY! at 8:06 PM...SURPRISE!!!!... They laid her on me and I just started crying without even knowing it.  I felt Ben's tears falling on my shoulder and Millie was SCREAMING :))

SHE WAS/IS BEAUTIFUL. 7 lbs 8 oz and 21.25 inches long!! I just had this overwhelming feeling of (first of all what in the world just happened because it all happened so fast and without me realizing what was going on) "wow".... As I looked her tiny body over I couldn't help but think what a brilliant and beautiful Creator we serve.  He truly thinks of EVERYTHING.... how??

The next few hours are still such a blur, but I just remember our family being there... watching Millie's every move and being so overtaken with amazement and love.  I don't think I stopped smiling for the next 24 hours.
So many people visited and brought us goodies-we were SO spoiled!!!!!!!  Millie was a complete angel baby the whole time we were in the hospital.
We went home on Tuesday and our new lives began.  I have always heard people talk about how much more you love your husband after you see him with your children and it is SO true.  I love the way Ben loves Millie.

A few of my favorite things she does: she scrunches her lips into this tiny little o shape (almost looks like a bird face) and doesn't make a sound as she lurches her neck forward.  Also.. usually instead of a cry she does this little coo/cackle thing when we are about to change her diaper :).

We had my mom here for a week and a half.. she was so helpful and I was thankful she got that much time to love on Millie before she had to go back to Jonesboro ;).  We can't wait for her to come back to visit!  I also can't wait for Millie to meet Pete, Brody, and Brennan.... We face timed with them and pete said "Millie's out??!!" ha.. so awesome!  then wendi and pete were in Gap and he goes "this is a store for Millie.. let's buy her something!" :))

We are having so much fun with her! So far (ha) she has been super happy and super easy.  She does wake up around 4/4:30 each morning ready to eat and then WIDE awake ready to play... if that's what she wants, that's what she gets!! :))

She is so LONG!!! She couldn't fit in her newborn sleepers and the few newborn pants/onesies I had for her aren't long enough.  So, she's wearing 0-3 mo and they are SO big but perfect length!  She also has her daddy's long, skinny feet :)

Here are a few of my favorite pics from the past two weeks (I've literally taken over 500.. oops)

(props to Meredith Curtis)

(Meredith again)

(Thanks, Mere)

Okay.. maybe more than a "few" favorites

We went to the doctor on Wednesday and she now weighs 7 lbs 15 oz.... SISTER LOVES TO EAT!  MAKES ME SO PROUD! HA!  I have seriously thanked the Lord so many times for this blessing and for such a supportive husband, family, and friends!!!!  THANK YOU ALL for your love, support, and for keeping us fed!  We owe you all so much more than a "thank you"!

Thursday Millie had a photo shoot with Kalyn Cavalier... let me just say she is the ultimate baby whisperer.. and so awesome at what she does.  Here are a few of the sneak peeks from the morning!  Thanks Kalyn!!

We love you, Millie Everett Willard.  Let the adventure continue!!!!