Monday, August 25, 2014

HALF A YEAR OLD...wahhh wahhh wahhh

Mills!!!! You are SIX months old!!  Is this real life?! How???
Though it seems so crazy that six months have passed since you entered this world with the loudest cry I've ever heard (and let me add you haven't cried like that since.. knock on wood), we have had SO much fun!!!  You radiate such joy, Millie Willard.  I feel like every month I say "this is my favorite stage yet".. but it really is!  Let me tell you all the new things you've started doing and you'll see why!!
*You wave!!!  it is the absolute most precious thing when you scrunch your little hand up into a ball and then release it.. I melt.
*You roll all around.. all across the floor over and over..
*You SLEEP!!! OH LORDY, HALLELUJAH, YOU SLEEP... and another fun part of that is how we find you in the morning.. on your belly, pushed up on your hands giggling/smiling and looking around.
*You laugh.
*You scrunch your nose up when you're really happy
*You eat food!!!  Your favorites for the first two weeks were sweet potatoes and bananas.. then we tried peaches and you LOVE them-can't get enough of them.
*You REACH FOR US!... this one was hard because the first person you reached for was your daddy (sad mommy), but I kind of "practiced" it with you until you did it to me too.. ha.. now you do it quite often

What else is going on with you at six months, you may wonder (ha):
-you still love to swing
-you LOVE bath time... getting lotioned up & having your hair brushed
-we changed your schedule up a bit when we decided (okay.. when marci parrott convinced mommy it was high time) to let you "cry it out" (i don't like that term much)... it only took you 3-4 nights and you've got it girl!!!! woo woo... the first night you cried for exactly 47 minutes (I was very proud of myself (and you of course!) because I didn't pick you up.. I had been getting you all of the three times you were still waking in the night), the second about 10, and 10 again the third!  You wake up around 6:30 now and since that's about the time your daddy gets up for work,  I put you in the bed with me and then you get up around 8!  So now you take a bath at night around 8-8:15 and we rock you then put you down around 8:30!
-we have a fun morning routine... when you wake up i change your diaper, put you in the bouncy seat, turn on an episode of mickey mouse clubhouse (I pump blahhh), then after that you eat some cereal and fruits!! :) You looooove Mickey Mouse.. you do a snort you laugh so hard (you're welcome.. that's from me)
-you love going on jogs with me in the jogger!
-you looooove to be outside
-you still watch fans all the time!
-you love EmJay
-you have a little case of "stranger danger"... at your 4 mo appointment dr. benfield said you were very cognitively aware and that your stranger danger was present early... it's hard though because you don't do it with everyone.. and some of the people you do it to makes us (and them) so sad!!
-you can finally wear shoes!
-you're in  6-9 mo clothes.. although the pjs are too short
-you wear size 3 diapers
-your favorite toys are lily the talking frog, a set of chew toy keys, and a light up rubber ducky
-you have TWO TEETH!.. I think you're cutting another one because the drool is back in full force!
-you like to jump in the jumper... very crazily!
-you like for us to read to you.. but not for very long
-you are super nosy!
-you giggle when you poot
-you make funny faces when you poop :)
-you love to watch Sheriff Callie :) mommy likes it too!  you giggle and do your snort when the three singing (what are those things? squirrels.. gophers? I dunno) come on and sing their jingles.. so cute.
-you kick your feet all the time
-you have the most gorgeous big blue eyes I've ever seen..
-you do this HILARIOUS thing as your new means of transportation (other than rolling all over the place like a rollie pollie)... on your back you push your heels into the ground and scoot yourself backwards across the floor. HA! .. i caught it on video today--you went halfway across your nursery floor!

I love you, sweet Millie.

Quick story.. I saved your life.  YEP.  Scariest moment of my life though.  After feeding you solids for a few weeks we decided to try out puffs.  I had you STRAPPED in your high chair (daddy was here, too) and we were feeding you breakfast last Saturday.  You had eaten quite a few puffs and put half of one in your mouth.  You coughed a little.. and I said "are you okay".. IDIOT. AS IF MY ALMOST 6 MONTH OLD WAS GOING TO SAY "YES MOM" OR "NOOOO IM CHOKING! HELP!".. BAHH..  so then you coughed again.  your eyes turned red, face turned red, eyes started to water and you weren't taking breaths.. so i realized no you were not okay and tried to yank you out of the high chair. duh.  You were strapped in (curse those straps.. haven't used them since)... so i hit your back and realized that wasn't going to do anything and swept my finger through the back of your throat and got the puff out.  You looked at me like I was nuts.  Breakfast was over.  :(  Needless to say, we haven't done puffs again...

We HAD to document the day you could finally wear shoes!

We got this rocking chair from Nanny & Pappaw's when we visited a few weeks ago.  So fun!

while mommy was at the women's conference dad decided to have a photo shoot with ya.. ha... sorry about the headband that clashes with the dress, but this melts my heart.

mouth wide open and eyes lit up seems to be your signature pose ;)

Your two teeth kept you entertained this month & this is the face you constantly make.  You like to rub your tongue across them.  So funny.


This next month is going to bring more big changes for our little family!!!  Next week you are going to the beach for the first time!  Yay!! Mommy may be a little nervous in anticipation of the car ride.
That's not the biggest change, though.... when we get back from the beach we will have ONE week to move!  Yes.  and as of right now, we don't know where we are moving (insert extremely sarcastic, concerned facial expression here).  You don't know this about me yet, but I am a planner.... plan everything. EVERYTHING.. so not knowing where my family is going to be living in three weeks is a wee bit amusing.
Now, I'm also is your daddy.  So when we were signing the closing papers on Friday we shed some tears.  We are both emotionally attached to this home for many reasons--your daddy more so than me because he built it.  This is the home he's lived in the past 7 years... he poured so much time and energy into it... then when we got married it was our first home together and he poured even more time and energy into it making it "ours".  We brought you home to this house, Millie.  We watched you grow and change every single day.  So, we aren't necessarily attached to the home, but the memories and all of the "firsts" we experienced here.
It may be stressful thinking about packing up our home and being out of it in two and a half weeks (when we will be gone every weekend up until them.. bahhh ahha just laugh), but we are so so grateful.  We wanted to sell this house to help provide for your future, and to reach our goal of being debt-free.  Thanks and glory be to God for selling it for us!!!  Yippeeeeeeeee!

Saturday, August 2, 2014

MOMMYHOOD & Ephesians 1:15-19

Thursday I was rocking Millie before her morning nap.  I usually turn on music because she LOVES for me to sing to her (so I turn the music on so she doesn't ONLY have to hear my AWFUL voice).  The song a Mighty Fortress by Christy Nockels came on... without even realizing it I was weaping.
Since I can remember, I have been a "worrier".  I seriously worry about the most petty things.  Things I could NEVER control or change.  I'm so ridiculous that I always worry I'll be late for something that I'm usually awkwardly early for everything.  It is annoying.  It's annoying to me.  I know it's annoying to Ben.  I am completely aware that as a Christian I should give everything over to God.  This is one of the hardest concepts for me to grasp.  Matthew 6:34-  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Ahh...Having Millie has taken my "worry" to a whole new level.  We have concrete stained floors in our house.  I CONSTANTLY "worry" (can I just say how much I HATE that word.. ugh) about dropping her.  So much that I play out in my head how awful it would be if I did drop her on the floor (not that she wouldn't be hurt on any other floor, but these would be even worse).  Even deeper than that, I worry about her future.  This worry does have some "good" in it if possible... I do pray for her future every night when I'm rocking her.  I pray the Lord protects her heart.  I pray not only that He protects her heart, but that he teachers her to guard it herself.  I pray that he will teach her to love like he loves and that he "breaks her heart for what breaks his"... I pray she will be compassionate, merciful, full of grace, and full of wonder.  I pray for Millie's future friends.  That they will be fruitful and supportive.  I pray that Millie will be that same fruitful and encouraging friend to others.  I pray for her future spouse--that the Lord will teach them a Christ-centered love and that they will surrender their marriage to Him.. loving each other with all they have and constantly working to make their marriage Christ-honoring.  I pray that she will never be afraid to chase her dreams, that she will allow herself to be herself, that she will have a nonjudgmental mind-set toward others, that she will be a light to the world, and that she will strive to do her best at all she sets out to do.  I pray Millie Willard seeks and finds joy every day in the smallest of ways to the grandest.  

So, when I was rocking her and this song came on I was kind of taken aback.  The Lord literally bonked me on the head and said "If you are praying these things over your daughter, you should pray them in surrenderendst (I made that word up.. you're welcome) to me.  You should pray in trust.  You should pray in faith."   
Thank you, Jesus for taking care of us.

I was reading Praying Circles Around the Lives of Our Children, and Mark Batterson was talking about mantras he and his family have (things they say over and over again..and words they live by).  One of their mantras was "If you drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go man 'cause they're gone."  This may not seem to fit with what I'm saying, but to me it is spot on.  I need to continue to pray these things and more over Millie, but I also need to release them (let go) to God.  I need to trust that he is taking care of her and her life is going to pan out just how he intends.  My role as her parent is to pray over her and to be a Christ-like example for her through my words and actions.  I need to be still and know HE IS GOD.  He is a mighty fortress--none stand against him.. he RULES OVER US with kindness and wisdom.  I pray he pours his wisdom into me all the days I'm here walking through this mommy hood where every day brings new emotions, new feelings, and new wisdom (as well as failures).

So, then.. yesterday I sat down to read my Bible while Millie napped and BAM!. I prayed before I even opened it... "Lord I need your wisdom.  I need your help.  Reveal your words to me"  (in my mind what I meant by "reveal your words to me..." was lead me to scripture/a book of the Bible for mommas... --i even googled "good books of the bible for new moms" HA..{didn't find anything just some suggested devtionals}  which leads me to this WHY DON'T I JUST LITERALLY PRAY WHAT I WANT.. why did i disguise my prayer as "reveal your words to me" when I knew exactly what I wanted him to do????.. anyhoo..)  So, I opened to Ephesians.  Right there in the first chapter I discovered "Thanksgiving and Prayer"  Ephesians 1:15-19   For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.  I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.  I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.  
Paul always says it right, doesn't he.. wow.  So well it makes you wish you'd thought of those words.  Thankfully this prayer is printed for us to read, to use, to share, and to meditate on.  Now, this prayer will become part of my life prayer for Millie Willard.  I love the ways of our Lord and how He just pops in at the right moment.

Our God is, a consuming fire, 
A burning holy Flame, with glory and freedom
Our God is, the only righteous judge,
Ruling over us with kindness and wisdom

We will keep our eyes on You
We will keep our eyes on You

A mighty fortress is our God
A sacred refuge is Your Name
Your Kingdom is unshakable
With You forever we will reign

Our God is, jealous for His own
None could comprehend, His love and His mercy
Our God is exalted on His throne
High above the heavens
Forever He’s worthy...

We will keep our eyes on You
We will keep our eyes on You

We will keep our eyes on You
We will keep our eyes on You
So we can set our hearts on You
Lord we will set our hearts on You!