Since I can remember, I have been a "worrier". I seriously worry about the most petty things. Things I could NEVER control or change. I'm so ridiculous that I always worry I'll be late for something that I'm usually awkwardly early for everything. It is annoying. It's annoying to me. I know it's annoying to Ben. I am completely aware that as a Christian I should give everything over to God. This is one of the hardest concepts for me to grasp. Matthew 6:34- Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Ahh...Having Millie has taken my "worry" to a whole new level. We have concrete stained floors in our house. I CONSTANTLY "worry" (can I just say how much I HATE that word.. ugh) about dropping her. So much that I play out in my head how awful it would be if I did drop her on the floor (not that she wouldn't be hurt on any other floor, but these would be even worse). Even deeper than that, I worry about her future. This worry does have some "good" in it if possible... I do pray for her future every night when I'm rocking her. I pray the Lord protects her heart. I pray not only that He protects her heart, but that he teachers her to guard it herself. I pray that he will teach her to love like he loves and that he "breaks her heart for what breaks his"... I pray she will be compassionate, merciful, full of grace, and full of wonder. I pray for Millie's future friends. That they will be fruitful and supportive. I pray that Millie will be that same fruitful and encouraging friend to others. I pray for her future spouse--that the Lord will teach them a Christ-centered love and that they will surrender their marriage to Him.. loving each other with all they have and constantly working to make their marriage Christ-honoring. I pray that she will never be afraid to chase her dreams, that she will allow herself to be herself, that she will have a nonjudgmental mind-set toward others, that she will be a light to the world, and that she will strive to do her best at all she sets out to do. I pray Millie Willard seeks and finds joy every day in the smallest of ways to the grandest.
So, when I was rocking her and this song came on I was kind of taken aback. The Lord literally bonked me on the head and said "If you are praying these things over your daughter, you should pray them in surrenderendst (I made that word up.. you're welcome) to me. You should pray in trust. You should pray in faith."
Thank you, Jesus for taking care of us.
I was reading Praying Circles Around the Lives of Our Children, and Mark Batterson was talking about mantras he and his family have (things they say over and over again..and words they live by). One of their mantras was "If you drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go man 'cause they're gone." This may not seem to fit with what I'm saying, but to me it is spot on. I need to continue to pray these things and more over Millie, but I also need to release them (let go) to God. I need to trust that he is taking care of her and her life is going to pan out just how he intends. My role as her parent is to pray over her and to be a Christ-like example for her through my words and actions. I need to be still and know HE IS GOD. He is a mighty fortress--none stand against him.. he RULES OVER US with kindness and wisdom. I pray he pours his wisdom into me all the days I'm here walking through this mommy hood where every day brings new emotions, new feelings, and new wisdom (as well as failures).
So, then.. yesterday I sat down to read my Bible while Millie napped and BAM!. I prayed before I even opened it... "Lord I need your wisdom. I need your help. Reveal your words to me" (in my mind what I meant by "reveal your words to me..." was lead me to scripture/a book of the Bible for mommas... --i even googled "good books of the bible for new moms" HA..{didn't find anything just some suggested devtionals} which leads me to this WHY DON'T I JUST LITERALLY PRAY WHAT I WANT.. why did i disguise my prayer as "reveal your words to me" when I knew exactly what I wanted him to do????.. anyhoo..) So, I opened to Ephesians. Right there in the first chapter I discovered "Thanksgiving and Prayer" Ephesians 1:15-19 For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.
Paul always says it right, doesn't he.. wow. So well it makes you wish you'd thought of those words. Thankfully this prayer is printed for us to read, to use, to share, and to meditate on. Now, this prayer will become part of my life prayer for Millie Willard. I love the ways of our Lord and how He just pops in at the right moment.
Our God is, a consuming fire, Paul always says it right, doesn't he.. wow. So well it makes you wish you'd thought of those words. Thankfully this prayer is printed for us to read, to use, to share, and to meditate on. Now, this prayer will become part of my life prayer for Millie Willard. I love the ways of our Lord and how He just pops in at the right moment.
A burning holy Flame, with glory and freedom
Our God is, the only righteous judge,
Ruling over us with kindness and wisdom
We will keep our eyes on You
We will keep our eyes on You
A mighty fortress is our God
A sacred refuge is Your Name
Your Kingdom is unshakable
With You forever we will reign
Our God is, jealous for His own
None could comprehend, His love and His mercy
Our God is exalted on His throne
High above the heavens
Forever He’s worthy...
We will keep our eyes on You
We will keep our eyes on You
We will keep our eyes on You
We will keep our eyes on You
So we can set our hearts on You
Lord we will set our hearts on You!
HAPPY SATURDAY!
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