Monday, February 17, 2014

39 weeks... I can't believe...

ONE WEEK FROM DUE DATE!!!!! wooooo hooooo!!  Come on giiiiirl!  We have been SO emotional thinking about every little detail!  Have I said that we are SO ready to meet you????!!!

I don't feel like much has changed since my 38 week update.  Well, wait.  Yes it has.  I'M SWOLLEN LIKE CRAZZZZZY.. Seriously---I've never had the smallest legs in the world, but I'm starting to wonder if they will ever go back to their "normal" size.... I mean they're so big they scare me.  I feel like "mama" on mama's family who can't keep her panty hose rolled up her legs.  None of my maternity pants fit because my legs have gotten so big.
Also, small tasks have become BIG tasks.... like earlier I saw a ball of fuzz/EmJay fur on the bathroom floor and thought.. "sick I need to pick that up"... so I bent over and couldn't reach it. haha... I laughed for a few minutes at that.
My belly button is doing this weird thing where it isn't in or out.... it's just there at surface level.  It looks super alien-ish.
Sleep has been difficult... I wake up.. WIDE awake at 3 am every. stinkin. morning.
Also- there's lots of pressure on my hips/back so I've been using a heating pad as much as possible!

The best part about being 39 weeks pregnant is knowing that in AT least 14 days I will have a baby... because my doctor says he won't let me go over 41 weeks.... I'm convincing myself every day that that is a good thing & that it's good for Millie, but sheesh.  This girl is READ-Y.

Last night I had a bit of a panic moment.. okay a BIG panic moment about labor/delivery.  There's just so much "unknown" and I am such a control freak who likes to know how every little moment is going to play out..... Not knowing what it is going to feel like or what kind of a delivery it will be is so scary to me.  I'm even scared of getting an IV put in my arm!!!  Pansy? YES!   I've never had an IV in my arm and I have certainly never given birth.  I think TOO MANY people have so freely (don't ya just love that about being pregnant) shared their horror stories with me that I'm letting them overshadow what a joy it is going to be to finally hold my sweet, perfect daughter!   I just continue to pray that the Lord will protect me and Millie just as He has the past 9 months!

I will admit, I have complained quite a bit throughout the course of my pregnancy, but I have also been downright grateful to God at SO many points because I still can't believe that I was chosen to carry this child.  I can't believe that this HUGE miracle is happening inside of me.  I can't believe that we have both been so healthy this whole time.  I can't believe that I get to be a momma.  I can't believe He chose me to raise a daughter.  HE CHOSE ME.  I'm thankful that the Lord continues to choose me just as He has so many times throughout my life.  What a graceful(L) God I serve.  He continues to give me so much more than I be honest I don't deserve a single thing.  For this child I am thankful!!!!!!

I go back to the doctor tomorrow................................ I've decided that this week I'm just going to take what he says and deal with it.  I'm not going to let it discourage me because this is all playing out the way the Lord designed it.  I had no idea when I woke up on June 24th that Ben and I would find out we were pregnant at 10 pm that night. I think the day I go into labor will be just as much of a surprise.... It's God's moment to create.  It has nothing to do with my selfish desires to not be swollen, or to be able to see my feet, or to be able to eat sushi or whiten my teeth, or to be able to wear normal clothes again.... After all...He's got the whole world in His hands, right?!  This is His story... I'm just thankful to be able to play a role in it!

Friday was Valentine's day.... (duh)... and we had our class party scheduled for 2:00.  Well.. the sweet mommas in my room and my students mixed in a surprise shower for me!  Ahhh... tears just thinking about it.  It was the most precious thing just to see how excited my students were, and how they couldn't wait to give me their gifts for Millie!  They seriously love her so much!  I can't wait for them to meet her..... waaaaayyyy later when flu stuff is far far away haha...
I have been truly blessed to have these students--and certainly their parents-- the past TWO years.  Looping is a scary thing when you think about the make up of the students, but there's not one that I would wish out of our group if I could.  I love all 23 of them to pieces.  I can honestly say that I would do anything for them... there are a few I wish I could bring home to raise on my own.. :(.
It is going to be so hard at the end of this year to have them leave me (especially since our school only goes to 3rd grade... they'll be going to a different building).  I feel like they are "mine" and can't imagine letting them go!!! ahh... I especially can't imagine it with these pregnancy hormones ;)

Monday, February 10, 2014

38 weeks...

The weeks actually have been going by SO quickly.. even though I am SO ready for Millie to get out of my belly and be here already!
I also never knew a belly could grow SO much within one week.  INSANE!

Ben is in his nesting stage.... he has washed, dusted, and cleaned out everything in this house.  THANK YOU LORD FOR THAT!!!!
He is also very into making sure everything is where it needs to be so he can easily grab it once it is "go" time. HA!

I repacked Millie's hospital bag for the third time yesterday (seriously... I'm not above admitting I am bored out of my mind waiting on this child)       I've always been an over-packer and it looks like that isn't going to change with me packing for my daughter!  I am so paranoid I won't have something she will "need" haha... I know I know... the hospital has all the necessities, but there are things a girl just needs to have on hand!! :)  

I have had back pain pretty much the entire pregnancy--but only on my right side.  The past week it has been MUCH worse... like shooting down my leg.  When I stand up and take a few steps it's like my hip gets caught.  So, that's not fun.  
Today was a strange/weird day for me.  I was just super uncomfortable, and I felt like I needed to walk with my legs close together because she was just going to fall out (there was so much pressure). Probably TMI.

I also had a feeling I've never felt before!  I was standing in my doorway at school and had a weird tightening feeling in my lower left abdomen area.  Like it hurt and tightened so much I was gripping the door frame!  I honestly would've thought that's what a contraction would feel like but didn't have the feeling again.  So, I'm chalking it up as a "false labor pain" and my wishful thinking!

I seriously look like a rollie pollie.  As Ben says: "girllll... you pregnant!"  I apologize to my students and their parents for what our class picture from today will look like with a 38 week preggo poking out the side :/.

We return to the doctor on Wednesday... let's see if anything has changed... (I'm saying that in my most calm and patient voice possible.. :))

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

47... i mean 37 weeks plus a COMPLETE nursery!

Literally---we are just twiddling our thumbs!  WHAT are we supposed to be doing?!  Everyone says "sleep while you can", but that has been VERY hard for me.  In the middle of the night I shoot up quickly in the bed (okay I take that back because I don't do anything quickly anymore with this big o belly) in a panic that I have forgotten something.  For example---three nights ago I freaked because I remembered (in my sleep) that the hoppy pillow was hanging on the crib instead of on top of Millie's hospital bags & if I went into labor Ben wouldn't know to grab it.  Then, last night/this morning I freaked because I realized I should pack some plastic bags to put clothes in that she may poop through while we are at the hospital.  WHO AM I???????  

I have still been feeling very well...
a few things that are new---
- my hips are hurting... like lots of pressure (i mean that's a duh, though..right??)  
-I am realizing just how far away from the copy room and office my classroom is--feels like a marathon to walk down there!
-I have gotten much more emotional...not even gonna give examples-it's ridiculous
-I think I'm in labor every second of every day :/

Last week was my first "weekly exam"... I'm not even going to write about it because I know that's an experience I would rather forget, but I'm sure I never will! :0  NO ONE warned me... thanks, friends. ha!
Anyhoo--I wasn't dilated which I only let discourage me for a day or two.  I need to be more patient for once in my life......................
I return to the doctor tomorrow so we shall see if anything has changed!

I don't think Millie is going to believe what kind of winter we have had.  As I said, I've been in panic-mode about every little thing, and when it started "blizzarding" (not a word, I know) on Sunday I just kept hoping it wasn't "go time" because I just knew my family wouldn't make it in time.  Story is still the same today!  ANOTHER snow/ice day.... As much as I want her here, I want everyone we want present to be able to make it!!!

We finished up birthing/parenting classes last week.  I know that not many people do them anymore, but we were SO glad we did it! We actually enjoyed it!  Of course, there were a few things I wish I hadn't heard/still wish I didn't know, but mostly it was very informational (especially for Ben).  The first week he even came home and youtubed how to swaddle a baby (and practiced on Millie's rabbit---shhh!! don't tell him I said that).  SO CUTE.  

Millie's nursery is finally complete... unless another snow day arises & I get bored & decide to change something up again.  I still REALLY want to paint the mirror gold, but I haven't been able to locate the gold paint I want to use anywhere in NWA... gerrrr.  So here are some (ha actually A LOT) of pics... :)  Hope she appreciates it one day!  Can't wait to fill it up with newborn pictures of our sweet girl!!

 inside the birdcage are the shoes I wore home from the hospital, my baby ring, and one of my childhood books :))

My mom has always called me "Pooh Bear" so of course I had to incorporate something from Winnie the Pooh in the nursery!! Piglet, it is!

That story Bible was my favorite--- I always dreamed of being able to draw a picture to be added in! & I LOVE the prayer cards and parenting advice cards from our two showers!

 She may need a FEW more bows/headbands

That inch bug rocker from the Speers is going to be fun!

 Our friend Dave is SO talented... he made this table :)))

 Can't even say how thankful I am for this glider/recliner! Thanks Tinka & Don!  & how talented is my MIL for making the pillow & Millie's blanket?!

 this is Ben's favorite part--he can't stand for there to be a gap at the top between the curtains..

 some of Millie's "lovies" from friends, my students, and family! love them all

 Thanks, Tone-Tone for the tag blanket!! Love it!
 this jelly cat rabbit is quite possibly my favorite thing in the nursery.. Worth every penny... it is the softest thing I've ever felt.  Hope Millie loves it as much as I do!!

 Free Pottery Barn chandelier-- SCORE!!

I LOVEEEEE this song... This little light of mine by Addison Road so naturally I had to put it in Millie's room!

another panic moment I had was during our last birthing class we did a tour of the hospital.  When I saw a door hanger there I thought "ohhhhh my goodness I haven't done Millie's yet!!!!!" Literally, I said that out loud.  Ben looked at me like I was insane.. so here's her hospital door hanger :)