E I G H T M O N T H S O L D

Oh heavens to betsy, I can't believe it!
You are changing every second, I do believe! wahhh wahh wahh!

What's new this month:
CRAWLING all over the place!
-Pulling up on everything
-EIGHT teeth
-You weigh about 18 pounds
-Sticking your tongue out and being so so silly
-Dancing ( a lot ) and paying attention to music
-"Mamamama"
-"Woof woof" ALL THE TIME!
-You play with your fingers
-"Talk" to your toys
-"Throw" things and laugh. Uh oh.
-You aren't as weary of strangers, but you do like to go back to your momma after a few minutes :)
-You've had a few bruises on your face from crawling and getting your legs stuck under you then falling on your face :(
-Smacking your lips
-When you sneeze it is never once... usually three or four in a row :)
-Turning the pages in books
-As soon as we put you in your carseat you look at yourself in the mirror and start laughing and talking
-Sticking your tongue out
-You put your right hand up to your mouth and move your fingers up and down and make this ahhhh ahahah sound.. it is so strange but so hilarious and adorable!
-We haven't used the swing at all this month.. sad times!

What you love:
 -to put your cheek next to the person's who is holding you. Melt a heart why don't ya
-for us to walk in your room when you walk up from naps... you make the sweetest faces and are SOOOO happy
-Play in your crib and talk talk talk after you wake up
-Cell phones
-remotes
-watching candles- you're mesmerized
-cords :/
-hair brushes
-having your hair brushed
-still love bath time
-bouncing
-still love watching Mickey Mouse & Sheriff Callie- you also like Sophia and Doc McStuffins
-to eat/chew on your socks
-the play table and walking toy the Benkos let us borrow.. they're so fun

Millie, the sounds that come from your little mouth are so precious.  I just want to eat you every time you "talk".  You cackle all the time, and are almost always smiling! Your little booty scooting around through this house makes my heart smile!!!..
You see EVERYTHING!! ..you are also pretty nosy! :)
Your hair is starting to hang over your head wraps-- it is growing :)) and there are quite a few curls in the back!

You still haven't slept through the night :(... except for the one night your daddy and i left you with Gammie and Gampie over night while we took a quick trip to Tulsa.. ha  quite comical, huh.

Your little hands are still one of my favorite things.  When we snuggle on the couch you like to put yours on top of mine and it usually makes me so happy that I cry haha!

You are wearing some 9m clothes and a few 12m. You wear size 3 and 4 shoes (but they never stay on for long).  Your feet sweat like your mommas..

You still eat sweet potatoes and peaches quite a bit.. but you also like Hawaiian Delight, Squash, and Apples gerber food.  You eat the stew out of puffs (any flavor).  You like to drink water and juice.  We added snack time and you love to eat yogurt!  I am still nursing you (thanking the Lord every day that he has allowed this to last this long--it's such a precious time and though it has it's downs I know i will miss it one day).  I've fed you some of a baked potato... some of an actual sweet potato and TRIED to get you to eat mashed up green beans and mandarins but you made the funniest faces when your hands touched them!  You're not a fan of wearing a bib!

I am already so excited thinking about your first thanksgiving and Christmas!!! It is going to be so much fun!!!  I might also already be planning your first birthday party (not to wish this time away--- i CAN'T even believe it is so close :()


I say it every stinkin' month, but this is such a fun time!  You have so much personality (so thankful for that) and are the most adorable gal I've ever seen!  I just want to freeze time and savor this longer, but I know I will love every little stage for different reasons.  Thank you for bringing us so much joy, Millie Willard!


Also.. this post is about ten days late--can you tell you're keeping this momma busy :) I LOVE IT!

Comparison is the thief of Joy

Here's where I'm at this morning.... in a tug of war with "I'm so content" and... "Ughhh I want that"... and "our God is an AWESOME God"..  (I realize a tug of war is usually only between two sides, but yeah)

I have just had so many "poor Jamie" moments lately... then last night my friend Meredith Benfield posted a quote on her instagram that kind of just sucker punched me in the throat.  "if we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back".  yeah.  well that will get ya.

We've been putting millie to bed consistently for about 3 months at 8:30.  We start bath time at 8, then read a few books, do silly stuff, and put her in her crib at 8:30.  I've been putting her in her crib awake since her "6 month" which was really when she was 7 mo appointment two weeks ago, and she has done great with it--usually rolls around and does a slight whine but is asleep within 10 minutes usually sooner.  However... she was waking at 12 and 3... we have since (well really just a week ago) cut out the 12 waking (who knows how other than the good Lord's provision)... but she has consistenly been waking at 2:52, 2:54, 3:04, 3:00ish the past month and a half.  the past two weeks have been somewhat of a haze for this momma.  (I saw a coffee mug the other day that said "Mombie..noun-the body of a mom taken over by the lack of sleep and excessive errand running.."  THAT'S SO ME RIGHT NOW.)  I was being so "hard" and letting her cry... which was lasting anywhere from 15 minutes to 2 hours... (ahhhh).. then she slept THROUGH THE NIGHT until like 6:30 am two nights in a row.  I think I seriously heard angels singing when I woke up the next morning.... then I came off my little high when it came to an abrupt conclusion and she starting waking up around 3 again.  I NEED to say this, though.  I have said it all along with every little mishap that we've had.. big or small...  I realize there are mommas (and dads) that have these silly "baby won't cooperate" moments and have to get up and go to work the next morning... so I have (or at least I think I have) been pretty good about not complaining and just "dealing with the hand i've been dealt" (such a sac-religious saying if you ask me)... I have tried not to complain other than to ben, ha.  I have honestly prayed so intentionally that the Lord would just help me to be thankful in these times.  However, IT. IS. HARD. not sleeping is hard.  it is really hard.  it has really taken a toll on me.  There's no nice way to put it other than IT SUCKS.  I love Millie Willard.. she is so happy-all the time unless someone is being obnoxiously loud (and most people don't stop being loud even when they realize it drives her bonkers, but that's another story)... and therefore, I've continued to tell myself "I mean i can't complain because she is happy".. right??? BAH.. WRONG.  I've realized it is okay to not be okay.  It is okay for it to be hard for me to function on such little sleep.  It is okay for me to cry. It is okay for me to want to scream so super loud that our new neighbors wonder what in the world is going on...... Sunday I had quite the meltdown.
I need sleep.  I don't know what else to say.  I need my child to sleep.  She has done so well with naps lately- I put her down awake and she is asleep within 10 minutes just like at night and she sleeps 45 min-1 hour which is much better than what she was doing.  So, for that i'm thankful, but I have still been struggling with "being thankful in my circumstances" when it comes to her not sleeping at night.

Last night after we put her to bed, my throat was hurting so Ben said, "Why don't you get out and go to the new Harps (woooo what joy haha I get to go to Harps... but seriously getting away for 15 minutes no matter where it is seems like a field trip for me)... and get some medicine and ice cream..." so I did.  I really don't have many windows throughout the day to get on "social media".. other than to post a pic quickly (and i'm the queen at that).. so i sat in the parking lot for a second before going in and scrolled through instagram. Meredith had posted the quote I was talking about.  Ohhhhh eeeemmmm geeeee.. I honestly don't think i took a breath for what seemed like 30 minutes after that.  My gracious.  What a life I have.  What a joyful bountiful life I have.  WHAT A BLESSING IT IS THAT I GET TO LIVE THIS LIFE ALONGSIDE MY SUPPORTIVE, GRACE-FILLED, JESUS-LOVING, ALWAYS SMILING, GLASS HALF FULL HUSBAND AND JOYFUL DAUGHTER.  Ben Willard sees me at my ugliest, most desperate times and he still loves the heck out of me.  WHY?? i mean i don't know.. maybe because Ronnie Parrott made him promise after our vows that he wouldn't divorce me??? ha.. kidding that isn't really WHY.... :).. He just selflessly loves me every single moment of every single day.  And then there's Millie...... she seriously may be one of the happiest babies I have ever been in contact with.  She is my life... she was sent here straight from the Lord's breath to make me happy every moment I get with her.  So..... if the "crying it out" hasn't worked the past two weeks then maybe I should just cherish the few moments I get with her at 3 am when I get to rock her back to sleep? Is that what you're telling me, Lord?  Maybe? I'm sure many moms right now (well let's be honest that many people don't read this) are reading this thinking-- NOOOOO stick to your guns.  Make that baby cry it out--it will lead to you being a LITTLE more sane in the long-run. I don' know what the answer is right now, but I do know I serve an awesome God who is going to see our little family through this.  I also know (going back to the quote) that there are mommas out there who wish they could provide a crib for their babies... that they wish they could go scoop them out of in the mornings... that wish they didn't have to work through the night and wish they had the opportunity to put their babies to bed...    I also know there are babies out their crying for their mommas who will never see their momma's face again... or even mommas out there who won't get to hold their babies again...      There are babies who are hungry, thirsty, cold, sick, hurting.  My baby and I are in this comfy house, not lacking a single thing (well sleep, yes), nestled closely to each other, getting the opportunity to study each others' faces and get acquainted with each other all over again every single day.  THANK YOU, JESUS.

Now, where does the title of my blog come in?... Comparison is the thief of joy.  While I enjoy social media because of the fact that i get to share in the joys of my family and friends' lives, lift others up with encouragement when they need it, ask for encouragement when I need it, and show off my little bundle of joy to people who don't get to see her often, i have come to realize that to this new mom it can be the devil at work if I allow it to be!  So much comparison can come into play, and I have allowed that to happen so much lately.  It seems that Facebook statuses are the place to post about how many hours new little babies sleep.. This isn't me saying there's anything wrong with that... I know the excitement that comes when your baby sleeps.  It is amazing, and I would love to shout it from the rooftops, too. n butttt.....AHHHHH. Do you know how many times i have wanted to chunk my phone or computer across the room after reading that????? I so badly wanted to post MY CHILD DOESN'T SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or something so sarcastic like "Millie slept three hours last night... yayyyyyy"... but i did catch myself one time posting a pic and saying "she sleeps"... ha got knocked off that high horse pretty quickly.  I think this is how society works now, though.  As a mom of an almost 8 mo old (I'm so seasoned, right? ha) I have come to realize that there are just some people who never ever let you see the "ugly" times and those are usually the people i catch myself comparing my life to... So my goal as I walk through this tough (yet usually so happy and fun) season is to make myself transparent.  I mean i realize I shouldn't complain, but I do need to be real--- everything about being a mom isn't FUN or HAPPY or PRETTY.. (there are some reaaaaaallly ugly, nasty times....just ask BEN WILLARD)...  What I've learned the past week is that my life is unique.  Just as the Lord made us unique AND in His image... he makes our lives and stories unique also--- it's our job to make sure our lives reflect his image (this is what the lesson was about in Children's church on sunday... just put it together at this exact moment as i typed it.. ha).  My life is what I make it... as I've said before-- we GET to CHOOSE JOY.  I MUST STOP COMPARING MY JOURNEY DOWN THE ROAD OF MOMMYHOOD TO OTHERS... all babies are different, all philosophies on motherhood are different, and counting my blessings rather than focusing on the not so fun circumstances is key.


NOW..if you just read this, would you please send up a couple of prayers for this sleepy mommy that Millie Willard would sleep past 3am?? THANK YOU KINDLY!! :)

May your eyes get wide when you look at the stars... SEVEN MONTHS

This little light of mine......

Oh, Millie.  You amaze me daily.  You are seven months old, sweet girl!  We have had a busy month around the Willard home... which has actually changed locations... which is part of the chaos that made it a busy month!  :)  Along with busy, I would say that emotional also describes the past month well.

What's new with Millie Willard at seven months?

-You have THREE teeth with a fourth one breaking its way through!!  I promise, it's like you go to bed and wake up with a new one every day...

-starting to pull up on things.. at this point i'm wondering if you'll walk before you crawl!

-"scoot" backwards

-giggle like crazy

-say "dada"... wave and say "Hi" and i'm pretty sure you've got "Yay" down... we say it and clap and you wail your hands in the air and "say" it..

-all teeth grin (adorable)

-give "love"

-eat your feet- pretty sure you can put a whole one in your mouth

-fight your sleep like a mad woman

-can stand with one hand holding on to something

-you weigh 16.12 pounds

-27 inches long

-wearing mostly 9m clothes

 (we surprised tone-tone for her 50th birthday with a PARRRRRTAYYY... you screamed through the whole thing and had poop running up the front and back of your shorts... so that onesie got thrown in the trash once we got to her house after the party.. ha it was cute while it lasted)

 (land clearing day)

(snuggling your giraffe on the car ride home from the beach)

(ha..we stayed at the same condo where mommy and daddy stayed a few years ago)

(goodbye 3871 Song Bird Pl)

You had your first beach vacay this past month too... you were completely adorable on the beach just as you are everywhere else.. you loved the sand (your dad was overly paranoid you were going to eat a fist full of it and die), but were a little timid at the loud sound of the waves.. we hung out at the pool, a lot.  You did take a few naps in your bouncy seat inside the tent on the beach.

Your favorite foods right now are puffs (we've only tried apple cinnamon, but just bought strawberry), peaches, and squash.  You also like water!  You're not very interested in the zippy cup just yet.

When you hear people clapping on tv you think they're clapping for you and get so excited and do the "yay" hand wailing I was talking about.

Things you love:

-still love your giraffe to go "night night" and snuggle

-FOOD

-bouncing

-darla the dragonfly rocker-- now you like to stand at her face and eat her, but you giggle every time we walk in your room and you see her

-sheriff callie

-mickey mouse clubhouse

-swinging... although it is high time we stop putting you in it because you turn your body completely sideways and hang backwards over the side- so i don't leave the room when you're in it 

-having your hair brushed

-lotion

-bath time

-your light up rubber ducky in the bath

-chewing on everything

-wipes boxes

-playing on the floor with us

-your high chair

-EMJAY.. you are so fascinated

-being in the stroller

-to stand up and hold my hands and "shake your booty"

-your carseat... NOT!! HAHA

-sleeping in your crib... again, completely kidding :(

-having your nose and temple rubbed when you're sleepy

-rocking with us

-pulling people's hair

-being tickled

-mirrors (you're so vain)

-when your daddy gets home from work (cutest thing ever)

-for us to hold you facing frontwards-- you kick your feet like crazy. so funny

-..and we are STILL working on you sleeping through the night.... as of last night you slept until 12:30.. cried (well kind of screamed :() until 1:30 and I watched you very closely on the monitor the whole time while your daddy grumbled and growled about how loud i had the monitor turned up and kept complaining... so at 1:30 i went and laid down in your bedroom floor.  You finally fell asleep and slept until 4:30.. tried to leave you but couldn't handle the crying so I got you and put you in our bed :/       -you had the sleeping down for about two weeks.. then we went to jonesboro, went on vacation, and moved and you have been completely inconsistent since all of that (which i don't blame you) so we will get it down, again.  I'm determined!!!

You are too cute for your own good... and your eyes are so beautiful.  Your hair is getting so long  (okay, not long but long(er)) and has a few curls! :))) I am currently obsessed with your hands.  ahhh i love them so much.

It was so hard to leave the home we brought you home to.  The last night I got to rock you I couldn't stop crying!  I kept thinking about walking in the door the day we brought you home.  I walked you straight to your room, and rocked you in the chair as I thanked the Lord for you and prayed the first of many prayers over you as i cried (imagine that).  Your daddy and I went over on Monday (sept 22) to finish up cleaning and walked to each room to say our favorite memories.  So tough, but we know this is all in the Lord's plan, and we have so many more memories to make with you wherever "home" may be!!

We had your 6 month pictures done.  The Benfields nailed it, again!  They're all so precious and such a blessing to have!

http://benfieldphotography.blogspot.com/2014/09/ben-jamie-and-millie-family-portraits.html

I was just rocking you before nap time and happened to glance up at the sign in your room... I left out the part about "and for those who are gone keep their memories alive" because at the time I didn't want something morbid about death hanging in my baby's nursery... but lately i've really been missing my nanny.  The other night your daddy was holding you and you kept reaching for her picture.  It made my heart so so so happy.  I wish so badly that you had been able to meet her.  Anyhoo, as i was rocking you today I thought about how that is still my constant prayer for you.  I love you, sweet girl.

May you live each day with no regret

Make the most of every chance you get
Let your eyes get wide when you look at the stars
With the same sense of wonder as a child’s heart
With the ones you love treasure the time
And for those who are gone keep their memories alive
Hold on to your dreams don’t ever let go
There’s a fire inside you burning with hope