39 week check

I left the doctor's office today thinking and telling myself I was okay.  That it's fine I wasn't dilated more than 2 cm.  It is fine.  I kept saying it.

Honestly, I have not a single thing to complain about... other than I'm just being eager, impatient, irrational, and selfish!!!!

I thought I really was fine with it.
Gorman told me to come back on Monday (due date is Tuesday) so we could see if I had progressed at all..

I realized as the day went on I am not fine with it--but I SHOULD be!  My attitude toward all the people who love and care about me and my attitude about some of the most petty things has been absolutely PITIFUL the remainder of this day.

I just sat down to have some quiet time with Jesus & I finished the book of Daniel.  After reading about the encouragement Daniel was given in the last dream of the book to finish well & know that he would be carried by Jesus to the end, I then flipped to Psalm 119.  Verse 71: MAY MY LIPS OVERFLOW WITH PRAISE FOR YOU.

Oh man... two different books of the Bible--both blatantly telling me to SUCK IT UP and realize what blessings I'm being covered with at this very moment in my life.

My baby boy is growing healthily inside of me!  I have zero pregnancy related health problems, and not a single major pregnancy complaint.  "GET OVER IT, ROWLAND" (ben calls me Rowland and I still have this haunting of my high school basketball coach yelling "pick it up, Rowland"  while my slow legs suffered through line drills and suicides at the end of every practice so I assume anyone trying to get my attention would) is what I imagine Jesus is  --graciously-- YELLING from His throne to me.
You're 39 weeks pregnant.  A pregnancy is set to be 40 weeks.  Get over yourself.  Rejoice in the fact that Jesus chose you to be a mommy, that Jesus is continuing to choose for your baby to grow and develop, and that in less than a week you get to meet and hold and squeeze and cuddle and kiss and all the things with your sweet new baby boy.

PRAISE YOU, JESUS.  PRAISE YOU FOR YOUR PROTECTION.  PRAISE YOU FOR YOUR LOVE.  PRAISE YOU FOR THE MIRACLE OF PREGNANCY.  PRAISE YOU FOR THE MIRACLE OF WHAT YOU'VE DESIGNED THE FEMALE BODY TO BE ABLE TO DO TO GROW A HUMAN LIFE AND THEN GIVE BIRTH.  PRAISE YOU FOR THE MIRACLE OF LIFE.  PRAISE YOU FOR CARRYING ME THIS FAR INTO PREGNANCY.  PRAISE YOU FOR KEEPING US BOTH HEALTHY.  PRAISE YOU THAT MY HUSBAND IS STILL MARRIED TO ME AFTER MY CONSTANT MOOD SWINGS AND INDECISIVENESS ON WHAT TO EAT AT EVERY MEAL.  PRAISE YOU THAT YOU CARE ENOUGH ABOUT ME TO KNOW ME, TO KNOW MY SON, AND TO ALREADY KNOW THE DATE, THE HOUR, THE MINUTE, AND THE SECOND I WILL MEET HIM.

THANK YOU, JESUS FOR 39 WEEKS AND ONE DAY OF PREGNANCY.

CHANGE MY HEART, CHANGE MY MIND, CHANGE MY PERSPECTIVE, AND CHANGE MY ACTIONS AND REACTIONS.